Магазинчик страшилок

00:00:12,428 --> 00:00:15,423

I see your car broke down

on this lonesome country road,

00:00:15,532 --> 00:00:19,157

a place so remote that no one

can hear your screams!

00:00:19,456 --> 00:00:20,917

Pretend I didn't say that.

00:00:20,940 --> 00:00:22,835

Come in, come in, but be warned,

00:00:22,858 --> 00:00:26,199

if you enter you may be

subjected to my tales.

00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:30,028

Tales designed

to sell my merchandise!

00:00:30,374 --> 00:00:33,311

Tales designed to sell my merchandise

00:00:35,397 --> 00:00:37,723

Sorry, I was thinking of

something funny I heard earlier.

00:01:17,887 --> 00:01:20,129

You've come to

the Mystery Shack after-hours,

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a time when only our creepiest

and most cursed objects are for sale,

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like that thing there!

00:01:27,473 --> 00:01:29,979

No, not a fan?

Too many orifices?

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All right, I can tell

what you're looking for

00:01:32,428 --> 00:01:34,523

is this disembodied hand.

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Why is it so expensive? Well, that's

quite a tale and it's called Hands Off!

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No, seriously, hands off,

that's not for sale.

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All right.

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Hands Off!

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Swap meet!

Swap meet! Swap meet!

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Look at all these

priceless treasures.

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Bobbly-heads!

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They agree with

everything I say.

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Professor glasses!

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They make me look like a genius.

00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,011

Look at these

faux-gold beauties.

00:02:07,364 --> 00:02:09,156

They're mob-boss quality.

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All right, kids,

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prepare to watch

the delicate art of the deal.

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Hey, hag-face!

How much for the junk watches?

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They are not for sale.

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Not for you, Stan Pines!

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The wind whispers your name!

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Shh...

Shush, you guys.

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All right, I get it,

you're creepy.

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Anyway, less talky, more watchy!

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Get your hands off my watch!

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Ugh!

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Yeesh! Freak show.

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Wow, someone needs to work

on their social skills.

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And their observation skills.

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Boom!

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Good job, heisting hands.

Mwah, mwah.

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Grunkle Stan, are you seriously

shoplifting from a witch?

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That sounded like a curse.

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"That sounded like a curse!"

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Hey, anyone want

to buy a wet blanket?

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We got a wet blanket for sale!

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I can't survive in this market.

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Ha, curse.

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Yeah, right.

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Wait, is this curse ugly

or normal ugly?

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Looks like I got off scot-free.

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All right, kiddos,

breakfast time.

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Prepare your mouths for...

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Whoa! Whoa-ah!

No hands!

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Grunkle Stan,

what happened to your hands?

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So I might have

got cursed a little,

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but the watch looks nice, right?

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Foolish man, thieving hands

find wicked face!

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You must return

what isn't yours...

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That's better.

00:03:42,275 --> 00:03:45,725

I told you, Grunkle Stan, you got to

give that watch back and apologize.

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What?

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That old crone

should apologize to me

00:03:48,732 --> 00:03:50,828

for denying my right

to buy cheap junk.

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I don't need hands,

I've got self respect.

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Mabel, sweetie, will you

make your uncle some hands?

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La-la-la.

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Hands makeover!

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Say hello to your "new hands"!

00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,341

-In quotes.

-Nice work, kid.

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See, hands are overrated.

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I'm ready to take on the day!

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Ma'am.

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Hey, Mr. Pines.

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Should we play toss me

a dozen eggs like we always do?

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No, Jimmy, wait!

Not today!

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Not today!

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Let's find that witch.

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According

to the swap meet pamphlet,

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the hand witch lives

in a horrible hand witch lair

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-on Hand Witch Mountain.

-Stop saying hand witch!

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Grunkle Stan, did you

just tap my shoulder?

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Kid, I can't tap anything.

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Guys, can you stop tapping

both my shoulders?

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Hands!

Lots of hands!

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Look at this touching scene.

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Up top!

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-You guys, you guys get me.

-All right, you horrible wench,

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you got me.

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Stealing is wrong,

etcetera, take it.

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Now can I have my hands back?

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I have a certain gesture

I'd like to share with you.

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Alas, your hands cannot

be gotten so easily.

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The spirits say, um...

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that the curse can

only be broken by a kiss!

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What?

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It's all right, kids.

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Just look away.

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A kiss on the lips!

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What? Forget it! I'm not

kissing any of that mess.

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I don't need my hands that bad.

00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,095

Yeah, you're just

making stuff up now.

00:06:04,121 --> 00:06:06,660

-Let's go, kids.

-No, wait! Don't go!

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You're right, you're right.

00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,934

I was just making

all that stuff up.

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Just trying to get

something going, you know.

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So hard to meet

people these days.

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So this was all just

a ploy to get a date?

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I'm desperate, okay?

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But every time I bring

someone back here

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without keeping their hands

hostage, they just run away!

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Well, yeah, look at this horror show.

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-It's creepy even for a cave!

-You just need to redecorate.

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For example...

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A handelabra!

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-Ooh, the hand witch likes.

-Then watch me work.

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Home makeover!

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Redecorate.

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Redo you.

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Change it around.

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You got to do it to make it work.

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Okay. Time to take a look

at your fantastic new cave.

00:07:03,866 --> 00:07:06,124

Men will definitely

tolerate you now.

00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:09,046

And I left a book of pickup

lines on the end table.

00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,688

Blah!

Oh, my goodness!

00:07:11,714 --> 00:07:13,191

I can't believe

this is the same cave!

00:07:13,217 --> 00:07:16,284

Oh, my goodness!

I just can't find the words.

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How about "Here's

your hands back"?

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Oh, right.

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Shaky, Scratchy.

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I've missed you old rascals.

You're all right, sister.

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-Will you be my boyfriend now?

-No, never.

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Well, I learned nothing.

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Back to my crippling loneliness.

00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:42,289

Hey, I'm lost

in these mountains.

00:07:42,342 --> 00:07:43,851

Could I crash here

for the night?

00:07:44,124 --> 00:07:46,600

Please, come in. Uh...

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"Girl, are those space pants?

00:07:51,010 --> 00:07:54,022

Because your butt looks

out of this world."

00:07:54,144 --> 00:07:55,857

Wow.

Thanks for noticing.

00:07:55,883 --> 00:07:56,629

Yes!

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All right, I get it. You don't want

the hand, you're a savvy customer.

00:08:02,677 --> 00:08:05,039

But perhaps you'd be

interested in buying, um...

00:08:07,644 --> 00:08:09,039

this magic pig.

00:08:09,090 --> 00:08:10,764

Sure he doesn't look magic,

00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:13,005

but there

is a very interesting story

00:08:13,028 --> 00:08:17,011

I'm about to make up about him,

and it's called Abaconings!

00:08:17,037 --> 00:08:19,167

ABACONINGS

00:08:20,646 --> 00:08:22,432

"The What-The-Heck-A-Hedron!

00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:25,975

Solve this test of intelligence and

your photo could be on this box."

00:08:26,765 --> 00:08:29,717

Whoa. That's false advertising

I can get behind.

00:08:32,917 --> 00:08:34,013

Come on.

00:08:35,065 --> 00:08:35,589

Ugh!

00:08:35,729 --> 00:08:37,628

Ooh, that's a bummer.

00:08:37,654 --> 00:08:41,444

This is May May and The Hogg

coming at you on the AM.

00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:44,960

Whoa! Not sure we

can say that on the air.

00:08:44,986 --> 00:08:48,163

Don't touch that dial, truckers,

'cause The Hogg just ate it.

00:08:49,552 --> 00:08:51,099

Mabel, could you knock it off?

00:08:51,349 --> 00:08:54,732

I'm trying to solve this intelligence

puzzle, but it seems impossible.

00:08:55,487 --> 00:08:57,333

Maybe you're just

not smart enough.

00:08:59,109 --> 00:09:01,028

We'll see about that.

00:09:04,322 --> 00:09:07,293

Buried near the falls is

the legendary percepshroom.

00:09:07,319 --> 00:09:11,137

To increase brain power, grind it up

and apply to the forehead overnight.

00:09:12,654 --> 00:09:14,856

Tomorrow, I own you!

00:09:41,340 --> 00:09:43,903

Ha-ha!

I feel smarter already.

00:09:44,056 --> 00:09:46,551

The digits of pi are 3.1...

00:09:46,755 --> 00:09:47,464

Um...

00:09:47,490 --> 00:09:50,227

415926 etcetera.

00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:52,659

What? Who said that? Mabel?

00:09:52,685 --> 00:09:54,659

Whoa! Dipper, look.

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Greetings, friends.

It is I, Waddles the pig.

00:10:00,860 --> 00:10:02,603

What?

Waddles, what happened to you?

00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:05,086

Have you been possessed

by the spirit of a nerd?

00:10:05,315 --> 00:10:09,861

I understandmy transformation may be

vexing, but I have prepared a presentation.

00:10:10,806 --> 00:10:13,588

Forgive me.My pig arms

are cute and useless.

00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:16,983

The brain goop! You ate it

and built all this, didn't you?

00:10:17,009 --> 00:10:18,016

This isn't right!

00:10:18,042 --> 00:10:20,530

The pig goes oink.

The pig goes oink!

00:10:20,635 --> 00:10:22,531

Now the pig goes

wherever he can shine

00:10:22,557 --> 00:10:25,023

the light of knowledge into

the darkness of ignorance.

00:10:25,087 --> 00:10:27,524

Whoa! What the heck-a-hedron!

00:10:27,688 --> 00:10:28,571

How did you do that?

00:10:28,597 --> 00:10:31,389

I can teach you, Dipper.

I can teach you many things.

00:10:31,415 --> 00:10:33,143

From the secrets

of astrophysics to the...

00:10:33,307 --> 00:10:34,482

Hey, hey!

00:10:37,132 --> 00:10:39,540

Man, I am loving

this new Waddles.

00:10:39,566 --> 00:10:43,251

Yeah, he's, uh, he's definitely...

00:10:43,501 --> 00:10:44,557

different.

00:10:48,632 --> 00:10:50,642

Dude, that rocket cart is amazing!

00:10:50,668 --> 00:10:52,368

You and me should go invent stuff.

00:10:52,394 --> 00:10:54,743

Uh, Waddles,

don't you want to stay up here

00:10:54,769 --> 00:10:56,936

and record some

morning pranks with me?

00:10:56,962 --> 00:10:58,813

Mabel, this pig's got a gift.

00:10:58,839 --> 00:11:00,378

He needs to share it

with the world.

00:11:00,404 --> 00:11:03,832

I'm sorry, Mabel. There is more

to life than making fart noises

00:11:03,855 --> 00:11:05,764

and laughing at those fart noises.

00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,350

I see that now.

00:11:08,939 --> 00:11:12,507

Yeah, you guys

just go on without me.

00:11:17,738 --> 00:11:19,580

Oh, my kite got stuck in a tree.

00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,496

I hate everything!

00:11:21,519 --> 00:11:23,025

I bet we could be of service.

00:11:23,396 --> 00:11:25,732

Ah! An affront

against nature!

00:11:25,755 --> 00:11:27,090

Ha! Forget kites.

00:11:27,113 --> 00:11:30,958

Here, take this rocket pack I invented

and explore the heavens yourself.

00:11:31,130 --> 00:11:34,528

Forget that, Grenda is gonna

look at cute boys through skylights.

00:11:40,014 --> 00:11:41,857

I rule the sky!

00:11:41,943 --> 00:11:44,159

Dude, that rocket pack

we made was amazing.

00:11:44,386 --> 00:11:46,681

Don't forget the laser gun

we made for Candy.

00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,405

That's to my enemies!

00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:53,604

Welcome to May May

and The Hogg AM.

00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:58,748

Top story today, coping with crippling

loneliness after losing my co-host.

00:11:59,482 --> 00:12:01,040

Loneliness!

00:12:02,548 --> 00:12:04,723

What did that nasty goop

do to you?

00:12:05,232 --> 00:12:08,088

You're not happier

like this, are you?

00:12:10,988 --> 00:12:13,716

Ha-ha. This is your

greatest invention yet.

00:12:13,742 --> 00:12:15,837

It could solve

every problem of mankind.

00:12:15,863 --> 00:12:18,791

And bring me many potatoes,

delicious potatoes.

00:12:20,033 --> 00:12:22,830

Yummy yummy

for my fat little pig tummy.

00:12:22,856 --> 00:12:24,729

What the heck is going on here?

00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:28,869

Mabel, you are just in time to

behold our greatest achievement.

00:12:29,151 --> 00:12:30,862

The smarticle accelerator!

00:12:31,487 --> 00:12:34,063

Solving that brain puzzle

was just the tip of the iceberg.

00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,824

With this, Waddles will be

able to solve

00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:37,996

all the greatest puzzles

of the universe.

00:12:38,082 --> 00:12:41,176

The origin of life.

The meaning of existence.

00:12:41,199 --> 00:12:42,678

Why dudes have nipples.

00:12:44,795 --> 00:12:49,709

Soon your pig is gonna be world famous,

meeting with scientists, presidents.

00:12:49,735 --> 00:12:51,986

I wonder if I can teach him

to wear pants.

00:12:52,012 --> 00:12:53,308

The whole world?

00:12:53,493 --> 00:12:55,280

But when will you have

time for us?

00:12:55,306 --> 00:12:56,592

I'm your best friend.

00:12:56,618 --> 00:12:58,310

I'm still your friend, Mabel.

00:12:58,336 --> 00:13:00,123

But I'm helping people now.

00:13:00,329 --> 00:13:02,083

But what about helping me?

00:13:02,109 --> 00:13:04,642

Do you really want to spend

your whole life in meetings

00:13:04,668 --> 00:13:06,084

with dumb smart guys?

00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:08,576

This brain junk has made you

forget who you are.

00:13:08,602 --> 00:13:10,943

Don't you remember us?

00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:16,121

Remember those times

00:13:16,144 --> 00:13:19,238

Don't forget

to remember those times

00:13:19,261 --> 00:13:25,470

Just remember

to remember those times

00:13:25,493 --> 00:13:26,710

It all makes sense now.

00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:31,519

What good is helping the world if I

can't helpmy favorite person in the world?

00:13:31,708 --> 00:13:34,011

It's a good thing

I built in a dum-dum switch.

00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,675

Waddles! Waddles, don't! Wait!

00:13:41,824 --> 00:13:42,902

I'm sorry, Dipper.

00:13:42,928 --> 00:13:45,652

In my last eight seconds of

consciousness, I want you to know

00:13:45,675 --> 00:13:49,608

that science is a horizon to search

for, not a prize to hold in your hand.

00:13:49,631 --> 00:13:52,615

Also I miss getting my tummy tickled.

00:13:54,682 --> 00:13:56,697

Oh, Waddles.

00:14:01,343 --> 00:14:03,458

No! Our invention!

00:14:03,484 --> 00:14:05,750

I know what will make you

feel better.

00:14:05,773 --> 00:14:08,374

A simple hug from a simple pig.

00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,598

Yeah, guess so.

00:14:16,062 --> 00:14:17,799

Good pig. Ugh.

00:14:18,294 --> 00:14:20,651

You know what? You're right.

Don't buy the pig.

00:14:21,073 --> 00:14:23,213

In fact I'm better off

leaving it with my niece.

00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,652

No shooting in the house,

sweetie.

00:14:25,675 --> 00:14:28,288

But perhaps I could interest you

in something else.

00:14:28,314 --> 00:14:30,780

Like these spooky movies!

00:14:31,943 --> 00:14:33,440

Movies are great.

00:14:33,466 --> 00:14:37,003

You watch the movie, you scare the

girl, the girl snuggles up next to you.

00:14:37,029 --> 00:14:38,352

Next thing you know,

you got to raise a kid,

00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,677

your life falls apart.

Forget that last part.

00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,942

This next tale is called Clay Day!

00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:49,809

You did it,

Shimmery Twinkleheart!

00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:54,223

-No, you did it, Cinnamon.

-Because you believed in yourself.

00:14:54,246 --> 00:14:56,021

Everything about this is bad.

00:14:56,044 --> 00:14:58,659

Well, that just put me 90

minutes closer to death.

00:14:58,682 --> 00:15:01,112

It's time you kids learn to

watch the classics from my day.

00:15:01,138 --> 00:15:03,055

Ooh, old people movies.

00:15:03,078 --> 00:15:06,763

Get ready for references we don't

understand and words we can't repeat.

00:15:10,029 --> 00:15:15,049

You're no match for Loinclothiclese.

I've come for the golden pants.

00:15:19,057 --> 00:15:20,151

Oh, no! Mabel!

00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:21,838

Well, your sister is broken.

00:15:21,864 --> 00:15:24,405

Oh, Grunkle Stan,

I should have told you before

00:15:24,431 --> 00:15:28,129

that Mabel has a childhood terror

of old-timey stop-motion animation.

00:15:28,155 --> 00:15:30,668

It's like her number one fear

since we were kids.

00:15:31,465 --> 00:15:33,340

Come on, those hokey old things,

00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:34,754

how scared could she be?

00:15:35,998 --> 00:15:38,897

The Cyclops! His face

is made of nightmares!

00:15:39,557 --> 00:15:41,678

Kid, it's just a movie.

It can't hurt you.

00:15:41,704 --> 00:15:42,397

No talking.

00:15:42,444 --> 00:15:45,184

They wait for you to talk and

then crawl inside your mouth!

00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,657

Why did you have

to show her that tape?

00:15:47,683 --> 00:15:49,591

There's got to be a way

to get her over this!

00:15:53,190 --> 00:15:53,819

Huh...

00:15:57,398 --> 00:15:59,533

All right, if we can just

get the director to show her

00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,813

the models are fake,

maybe she'll finally calm down.

00:16:01,959 --> 00:16:02,895

I don't know, dude.

00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:05,532

According to the internet, special

effects genius Harry Claymore

00:16:05,558 --> 00:16:06,504

is some kind of recluse.

00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:09,019

Man wants his privacy.

I can respect that.

00:16:11,698 --> 00:16:13,391

Well, everyone over the fence.

00:16:13,417 --> 00:16:16,233

You see, Mabel, those monsters

are just tiny clay figures

00:16:16,259 --> 00:16:19,048

moved around one frame at

a time by an antisocial shut-in.

00:16:19,074 --> 00:16:21,509

Those people are called animators.

00:16:23,137 --> 00:16:24,173

Hello?

00:16:24,626 --> 00:16:26,110

Mr. Claymore?

00:16:26,345 --> 00:16:28,251

We want to get a look

at your figurines.

00:16:28,277 --> 00:16:30,189

We're not paparazzi.

00:16:31,249 --> 00:16:31,939

Aha!

00:16:32,666 --> 00:16:35,415

See, Mabel, it's all just

special effects.

00:16:35,441 --> 00:16:36,965

-You can come out.

-No!

00:16:37,105 --> 00:16:38,457

Kid, listen to me.

00:16:38,483 --> 00:16:41,683

For the last time, there is

nothing here to be afraid of...

00:16:49,620 --> 00:16:51,137

It's slowly...

00:16:52,049 --> 00:16:53,664

swiping at us!

00:16:53,781 --> 00:16:56,046

Let's escape by standing still!

00:16:56,273 --> 00:16:58,265

Oh, it didn't work!

00:17:03,258 --> 00:17:04,432

Whoa!

00:17:13,617 --> 00:17:15,680

How is this happening?

What do they want?

00:17:15,706 --> 00:17:17,702

I'm afraid they want you.

00:17:19,658 --> 00:17:22,159

Harry Claymore,

master of special effects,

00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,167

circa 1970 something.

00:17:24,193 --> 00:17:27,890

Alas, my effects

are more special than you know.

00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,724

What? But how are

these things real?

00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:31,370

-What about stop motion?

-What?

00:17:31,396 --> 00:17:34,878

Do you really believe someone

moves these figures one frame at a time?

00:17:34,904 --> 00:17:36,066

I'm not a masochist.

00:17:36,092 --> 00:17:38,827

I used black magic to make them

animate themselves.

00:17:38,853 --> 00:17:41,373

It was great at first,

but one day...

00:17:45,699 --> 00:17:46,816

No!

00:17:47,229 --> 00:17:49,243

Where's the heart?!

00:17:49,571 --> 00:17:53,603

Now that they were out of work,

they went mad and enslaved me!

00:17:54,393 --> 00:17:57,512

And now they will turn you

into unholy beasts of clay

00:17:57,608 --> 00:17:59,043

to join in their mischief!

00:17:59,069 --> 00:18:02,270

Well, Mr. Pines, at least you'll finally

get to work with your favorite director.

00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:05,174

And by work, I mean, suffocate

inside a big wad of clay.

00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,595

Help!

00:18:07,751 --> 00:18:08,688

Somebody help us!

00:18:08,711 --> 00:18:09,688

Help!

00:18:09,711 --> 00:18:11,086

Oh, what do I do?

00:18:11,109 --> 00:18:13,494

How can I defeat

those monstrosities?

00:18:16,924 --> 00:18:19,645

Hey, I changed it into

something I like.

00:18:20,086 --> 00:18:22,963

Whoa.

I think I have an idea!

00:18:24,055 --> 00:18:25,704

Hey, one-eyed-clops!

00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:27,797

Yeah, I'm talking to you, dum-dum!

00:18:28,070 --> 00:18:29,287

Come at me!

00:18:38,441 --> 00:18:40,719

Wipe that face off your face.

00:18:42,128 --> 00:18:44,905

Oh, I've got big plans for you!

00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:46,399

Hey, skeleton dorks!

00:18:47,204 --> 00:18:49,248

It's "clayback" time!

00:18:49,271 --> 00:18:50,454

Whoo-hoo-hoo.

00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:55,764

-Dude, you conquered your fear.

-That's right. Because

00:18:55,790 --> 00:18:58,638

-she believed in herself.

-Can it, Twinkleheart!

00:18:58,664 --> 00:19:00,902

Just start pounding

those skeletons!

00:19:03,859 --> 00:19:05,114

Mabel, you did it.

00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:08,558

-So you're not scared anymore?

-Oh, I'm scared twice as much now,

00:19:08,584 --> 00:19:10,634

but now I know it's rational.

00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:13,276

Kid, I'm sorry I doubted you.

You were right.

00:19:13,468 --> 00:19:15,638

Stop motion is pure evil.

00:19:15,664 --> 00:19:17,544

And probably really expensive.

00:19:17,570 --> 00:19:19,614

Incredibly expensive.

00:19:20,841 --> 00:19:22,536

This is an impressive

fight though.

00:19:22,637 --> 00:19:24,397

I'm glad I'm facing towards it.

00:19:25,617 --> 00:19:26,993

Yay!

00:19:27,172 --> 00:19:28,290

That was the best part.

00:19:34,946 --> 00:19:38,331

Well, I think today we learned

that you can remold your fears.

00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,800

I'm just glad none of us

got turned into clay.

00:19:41,019 --> 00:19:42,394

Holy Toledo!

00:19:43,674 --> 00:19:45,889

Who wants to see me

change into most anything?

00:19:48,247 --> 00:19:51,495

I can walk through walls. Whoa!

00:19:52,762 --> 00:19:53,970

We're safe now, kids.

00:19:54,598 --> 00:19:55,337

We're safe.

00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:59,538

I don't get it. You don't want

the pig, you don't want my tapes,

00:19:59,561 --> 00:20:00,860

what are you gonna buy?

00:20:01,431 --> 00:20:03,312

How about this delicious potion?

00:20:03,475 --> 00:20:05,593

Here, have a free sample.

00:20:12,809 --> 00:20:15,497

You should have bought my merch

when you had the chance, buddy.

00:20:15,945 --> 00:20:17,083

But that's okay.

00:20:17,371 --> 00:20:19,905

I'll have something new

for sale very soon.

00:20:23,936 --> 00:20:26,024

And here we have

our latest attraction.

00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,581

The legendary Cheapskate!

00:20:27,973 --> 00:20:29,366

I saw it blinking.

00:20:30,116 --> 00:20:31,626

Just an optical illusion.

00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,184

Come along, everyone.

00:20:33,207 --> 00:20:34,343

Step right up!

00:20:37,962 --> 00:20:39,386

That's right, I'm a jerk.

00:20:39,785 --> 00:20:42,152

Hey, want to play tic-tac-toe?

00:20:45,260 --> 00:20:47,783

Hey, I wanted to be Xs,

let me be Xs.

00:20:47,809 --> 00:20:49,546

Trust me, just let her be Xs.

00:20:50,990 --> 00:20:51,890

Yay!

00:20:53,004 --> 00:20:55,374

Actually I'm sorry.

I changed my mind, I'll be Os.

00:20:56,653 --> 00:20:58,541

Okay, you're gonna

hate me right now,

00:20:58,567 --> 00:21:00,645

but is Xs still a possibility?

00:21:04,036 --> 00:21:05,835

I don't think

you're playing this right.

00:00:10,751 --> 00:00:12,405

Приветствую тебя, путник!

00:00:12,428 --> 00:00:15,423

Смотрю, у тебя в нашей

глухомани заглохла машина!

00:00:15,532 --> 00:00:19,157

Здесь так безлюдно кричи –

не кричи, никто не услышит!

00:00:19,456 --> 00:00:20,917

Эй, это была шутка!

00:00:20,940 --> 00:00:22,835

Входи, входи, но осторожно!

00:00:22,858 --> 00:00:26,199

Ведь если войдешь,

то будешь слушать мои истории!

00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:30,028

Истории, созданные для повышения продаж!

00:00:30,374 --> 00:00:33,311

ИСТОРИИ, СОЗДАННЫЕ ДЛЯ ПОВЫШЕНИЯ ПРОДАЖ

00:00:35,397 --> 00:00:37,723

Извини, просто вспомнил

одну смешную шутку.

00:00:54,519 --> 00:00:57,319

ДИППЕР

00:00:58,807 --> 00:01:00,207

МЭЙБЛ

00:01:01,434 --> 00:01:02,734

СТЭН

00:01:12,886 --> 00:01:14,486

ГРАВИТИ ФОЛЗ

00:01:17,887 --> 00:01:20,129

Ты в «Хижине чудес» после закрытия,

00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:24,209

когда на продажу выставляются

только самые омерзительные товары!

00:01:24,441 --> 00:01:25,971

Типа вот таких!

00:01:27,473 --> 00:01:29,979

Нет? Не нравится? Слишком омерзителен?

00:01:30,149 --> 00:01:32,405

Ну, ладно, тогда ты, наверное, ищешь это!

00:01:32,428 --> 00:01:34,523

Оттяпанную мёртвую руку!

00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:41,150

Почему так дорого, да? Ну, ха-ха долгая

история, она называется: «руки прочь»!

00:01:41,997 --> 00:01:43,841

Серьёзно, руки прочь. Это не продаётся!

00:01:44,122 --> 00:01:44,677

Ну, ладно!

00:01:44,908 --> 00:01:46,318

Руки прочь!

00:01:46,363 --> 00:01:48,530

РУКИ ПРОЧЬ

00:01:48,792 --> 00:01:50,792

БЛОШИНЫЙ РЫНОК ГРАВИТИ ФОЛЗ

00:01:51,156 --> 00:01:53,143

Барахолка, барахолка, барахолка!

00:01:53,166 --> 00:01:55,646

Смотрите сколько бесценных сокровищ!

00:01:55,672 --> 00:01:56,976

Болванчики!

00:01:57,961 --> 00:01:59,965

Что я ни скажу, они согласны.

00:02:00,051 --> 00:02:01,239

Профессорские очки!

00:02:01,479 --> 00:02:03,395

В них я выгляжу как гений-ученый!

00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,011

Ну, надо же, почти что золотые!

00:02:07,364 --> 00:02:09,156

Марки «крутой мафиози»!

00:02:09,711 --> 00:02:11,310

ОДИНОКАЯ КАРГА

СОВЕТЫ ДЛЯ ВЕДЬМ

00:02:11,835 --> 00:02:12,854

Ладно, дети!

00:02:12,948 --> 00:02:15,953

Сейчас дядя Стэн

покажет вам искусство щипача!

00:02:16,406 --> 00:02:19,398

Эй, старушенция!

Сколько стоят поддельные часы?

00:02:19,498 --> 00:02:21,248

Они не продаются!

00:02:21,420 --> 00:02:24,100

Тебе не продам, Стэн Пайнс!

00:02:24,372 --> 00:02:27,826

Это ветер шепнул мне твоё имя!

00:02:28,332 --> 00:02:30,252

Шш! Можно потише.

00:02:30,278 --> 00:02:31,812

Понял, тебя надо бояться!

00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,611

Короче, давай ближе к делу.

00:02:34,986 --> 00:02:37,766

Руки прочь от моих часов!

00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,712

Фу! Ненормальная.

00:02:40,738 --> 00:02:43,724

Да уж, кто-то явно

не умеет общаться с людьми!

00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:45,364

А ещё следить за руками!

00:02:45,551 --> 00:02:46,286

Бум!

00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:48,953

Молодцы, мои рученьки!

00:02:48,992 --> 00:02:52,005

Дядя Стэн, ты что, серьезно

стащил часы у старой ведьмы?

00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,562

Может плохо кончиться.

00:02:53,585 --> 00:02:55,146

«Может плохо кончиться!»

00:02:55,172 --> 00:02:57,158

Кому нужен зануда, недорого?

00:02:57,184 --> 00:02:58,718

Мокрые простыни в придачу!

00:03:00,755 --> 00:03:03,583

Я не конкурент на этом рынке.

00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:07,948

Ха! Ведьма!

00:03:07,971 --> 00:03:08,981

Да, как же!

00:03:10,707 --> 00:03:13,681

Стоп, это я заколдован, или просто старый?

00:03:14,348 --> 00:03:16,019

Часики достались мне даром!

00:03:20,159 --> 00:03:21,816

Так, дети, вот вам завтрак!

00:03:22,182 --> 00:03:23,398

Приготовьте рты для...

00:03:24,384 --> 00:03:27,006

Нет рук!

00:03:27,032 --> 00:03:29,415

Дядя Стэн, что с твоими руками?

00:03:29,454 --> 00:03:31,403

Наверное, чары подействовали!

00:03:31,429 --> 00:03:33,045

Но часы крутые, да?

00:03:33,657 --> 00:03:37,959

Глупый старик!

Руки вора ведут его к позору!

00:03:37,982 --> 00:03:40,836

Верни то, что не твоё, и тогда...

00:03:41,017 --> 00:03:41,835

Так-то лучше.

00:03:42,275 --> 00:03:45,725

Я же говорил, Дядя Стэн: ты должен

отдать ведьме часы и извиниться.

00:03:45,751 --> 00:03:46,275

Чё?!

00:03:46,461 --> 00:03:48,396

Это старая карга должна извиниться,

00:03:48,732 --> 00:03:50,828

что отказалась продавать свою дешевку!

00:03:51,129 --> 00:03:53,868

Плевать на руки!

Зато у меня есть гордость!

00:03:57,468 --> 00:04:00,354

Мэйбл, детка, сделаешь дедушке пару рук?

00:04:01,268 --> 00:04:02,296

Ла-ла-ла!

00:04:02,319 --> 00:04:04,190

Пыльца фей, полетела!

00:04:04,216 --> 00:04:06,310

Поздоровайся с новыми руками!

00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,341

-В кавычках.

-Молодец, детка!

00:04:08,367 --> 00:04:10,411

Видишь? Руки – плёвое дело!

00:04:10,614 --> 00:04:12,605

Я готов встретить новый день!

00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:14,630

Мэм!

00:04:24,257 --> 00:04:25,833

Здрасьте, мистер Пайнс!

00:04:25,859 --> 00:04:28,993

Сыграем, как обычно,

в игру «Поймай дюжину яиц руками»?

00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,012

Нет, Джимми, стой. Не сегодня!

00:04:31,301 --> 00:04:32,880

Не сегодня!

00:04:35,804 --> 00:04:37,118

Надо найти ведьму.

00:04:39,633 --> 00:04:41,175

Согласно справочнику барахолки,

00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,935

Ручная Ведьма живет на Ручной Горе

00:04:42,958 --> 00:04:45,608

-в Ручной Пещере.

-Хватит повторять: «ручной»!

00:04:49,111 --> 00:04:51,397

Дядя Стэн, это ты тронул меня за плечо?

00:04:51,423 --> 00:04:53,022

Я ничего не могу тронуть!

00:04:54,741 --> 00:04:57,357

Ребят, хватит уже хлопать меня

по обоим плечам.

00:05:06,134 --> 00:05:08,051

Руки! Много рук!

00:05:22,303 --> 00:05:24,997

Ну, какая «трогательная» сцена!

00:05:25,145 --> 00:05:26,153

Дай пять!

00:05:26,421 --> 00:05:29,258

-Вы меня нашли.

-Ладно, жуткая старуха,

00:05:29,284 --> 00:05:30,204

твоя взяла!

00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,242

Воровать – плохо, бла-бла-бла, бери!

00:05:32,273 --> 00:05:33,919

Можешь теперь вернуть руки?

00:05:34,062 --> 00:05:36,281

Я тебе один интересный жест покажу.

00:05:36,465 --> 00:05:40,286

К сожалению, ты не сможешь

получить свои ручки так просто!

00:05:40,581 --> 00:05:42,919

Духи говорят...

00:05:43,441 --> 00:05:47,520

что страшное заклятье можно

снять только поцелуем!

00:05:47,739 --> 00:05:48,626

Что?

00:05:49,451 --> 00:05:50,580

Ничего, дети!

00:05:51,462 --> 00:05:52,688

Отвернитесь!

00:05:56,003 --> 00:05:57,689

Нужен поцелуй в губы!

00:05:57,715 --> 00:06:00,635

Что?! Еще чего!

Не буду целовать тебя в губы!

00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:02,334

Руки не настолько мне нужны!

00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,095

К тому же, это условие вы выдумали!

00:06:04,121 --> 00:06:06,660

-Уходим, дети всё!

-Нет, не уходите!

00:06:06,686 --> 00:06:08,414

Вы правы, правы.

00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,934

Я, ну да, я выдумала это условие!

00:06:11,168 --> 00:06:13,675

Просто мне тут так одиноко и грустно!

00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:16,018

В наши дни людей почти не встретишь.

00:06:17,237 --> 00:06:19,440

Так вы хотели найти собеседника?

00:06:19,511 --> 00:06:20,996

Ну, а что мне было делать?!

00:06:21,019 --> 00:06:22,914

Стоит мне кого-то сюда затащить,

00:06:22,937 --> 00:06:26,070

не забирая перед этим у них руки,

они сразу сбегают!

00:06:26,096 --> 00:06:28,146

Это понятно: посмотри, какой ужас!

00:06:28,172 --> 00:06:31,465

-У тебя здесь страшнее, чем в склепе!

-Вам нужна помощь дизайнера!

00:06:31,488 --> 00:06:32,623

Например, вот:

00:06:33,306 --> 00:06:35,787

как вам этот руколябр?!

00:06:36,576 --> 00:06:40,133

-О, Ручной ведьме нравится!

-Ну, тогда продолжим!

00:06:40,619 --> 00:06:42,805

Пещерный вопрос!

00:06:45,611 --> 00:06:46,871

ДИППЕР: КОНСУЛЬТАНТ ПО ЖИВОПИСИ

00:06:46,896 --> 00:06:47,555

Клеим обои!

00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:49,273

МЭЙБЛ: КОЛОРИСТ

00:06:49,298 --> 00:06:50,737

Подбираем оттенок!

00:06:52,136 --> 00:06:53,021

СТЭН: ПАРЕНЬ С МОЛОТКОМ

00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,683

Разбиваем на зоны!

00:06:54,838 --> 00:06:57,224

Работаем над созданием атмосферы!

00:06:58,508 --> 00:07:02,547

Ну что, вы готовы увидеть вашу

новую старую пещеру?

00:07:03,866 --> 00:07:06,124

Соблюдены все принципы дизайна интерьеров!

00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:09,046

А на столике – энциклопедия

фраз для знакомств.

00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,688

Боже ж ты мой!

00:07:11,714 --> 00:07:16,284

И это моя пещера? Просто невероятно!

Я даже не знаю, что сказать!

00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,511

Может быть: «Вот твои руки, Стэн».

00:07:18,769 --> 00:07:19,698

О, да.

00:07:24,982 --> 00:07:26,659

Держалка, Чесалка!

00:07:26,839 --> 00:07:29,936

Как же я соскучился!

Спасибо тебе, сестричка.

00:07:32,003 --> 00:07:34,456

-Теперь будешь моим бойфрендом?

-Нет! Ни за что!

00:07:34,972 --> 00:07:36,768

А я ничему не научился.

00:07:37,609 --> 00:07:39,958

Ну, вот и опять одиночество.

00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:42,289

Здрасьте, я заблудился в горах!

00:07:42,342 --> 00:07:43,851

Можно у вас переночевать?

00:07:44,124 --> 00:07:46,600

Конечно, входи!

00:07:48,585 --> 00:07:50,952

«Девушка это на вас лосины?

00:07:51,010 --> 00:07:54,022

Они подчёркивают ваши

обольстительные формы!»

00:07:54,144 --> 00:07:55,857

Ого, спасибо за комплимент.

00:07:55,883 --> 00:07:56,629

Да!

00:07:58,441 --> 00:08:02,293

Ладно, я понял: рука не нужна!

Требовательный покупатель!

00:08:02,677 --> 00:08:05,039

Но может, тогда ты захочешь купить...

00:08:07,644 --> 00:08:09,039

волшебную свинью?

00:08:09,090 --> 00:08:10,764

На вид – самая обыкновенная,

00:08:10,790 --> 00:08:13,005

но я расскажу тебе о ней необычную

00:08:13,028 --> 00:08:17,011

и интересную историю!

Называется: «Откросвиние».

00:08:17,037 --> 00:08:19,167

ОТКРОСВИНИЕ

00:08:20,646 --> 00:08:22,432

«Фик-знает-сколько-гранник!

00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:25,975

Пройдите этот тест на интеллект,

и ваше фото будет на коробке!»

00:08:26,765 --> 00:08:29,717

Ого, ну, на эту глупую

рекламу мне наплевать!

00:08:32,917 --> 00:08:34,013

Ну, давай!

00:08:35,065 --> 00:08:35,589

У!

00:08:35,729 --> 00:08:37,628

Какая досада!

00:08:37,654 --> 00:08:41,444

В студии Мэй-Мэй и Мистер Хряк!

Как всегда на средней волне!

00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:44,960

Тихо-тихо, коллега!

В прямом эфире такое не говорят!

00:08:44,986 --> 00:08:48,163

Не трогайте настройки, ребята,

потому что Хряк съел бегунок.

00:08:49,552 --> 00:08:51,099

Слушай, Мэйбл, может, хватит?

00:08:51,349 --> 00:08:54,732

Я пытаюсь собрать эту головоломку,

но, по-моему, это невозможно.

00:08:55,487 --> 00:08:57,333

Может, ты просто не достаточно умный?

00:08:59,109 --> 00:09:01,028

Ну, это мы еще посмотрим!

00:09:04,322 --> 00:09:07,293

У водопада растет

легендарный гриб-мозговик!

00:09:07,319 --> 00:09:11,137

Чтобы усилить интеллект, разомните гриб

в ступке и намажьте соком лоб!

00:09:12,654 --> 00:09:14,856

Уже завтра я тебя победю!

00:09:34,386 --> 00:09:36,986

НЕВРОЛОГИЯ. КРИПТОЛОГИЯ.

ЭНЦИКЛОПЕДИЯ.

00:09:41,340 --> 00:09:43,903

Ха-ха! Я уже явно стал умнее!

00:09:44,056 --> 00:09:46,551

Число «пи» – это: три, запятая, один...

00:09:47,490 --> 00:09:50,227

415926 и так далее.

00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:52,659

Что? Кто это? Эй, Мэйбл?

00:09:52,685 --> 00:09:54,659

Диппер, смотри!

00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:00,516

Приветствую, друзья.

Это я, поросенок Пухля.

00:10:00,860 --> 00:10:02,603

-Что?

-Пухля, что с тобой случилось?

00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:05,086

Неужели в тебя вселился дух ботаника?

00:10:05,315 --> 00:10:09,861

Моя трансформация может показаться

вам пугающей, но я приготовил презентацию!

00:10:10,806 --> 00:10:13,588

Простите! Копытцами сложно

нажимать кнопки.

00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:16,983

Гриб-мозговик! Ты съел его

и сразу стал гением, верно?

00:10:17,009 --> 00:10:18,016

Это неправильно!

00:10:18,042 --> 00:10:20,530

Свиньи хрюкают! Все свиньи хрюкают!

00:10:20,635 --> 00:10:22,531

Теперь свиньи говорят то, что проливает

00:10:22,557 --> 00:10:25,023

свет знаний во тьму невежества.

00:10:25,087 --> 00:10:27,524

Ух, ты! Фик-знает-сколько-гранник!

00:10:27,688 --> 00:10:28,571

Как ты его собрал?

00:10:28,597 --> 00:10:31,389

Я научу тебя!

И расскажу тебе много всего:

00:10:31,415 --> 00:10:33,143

от секретов астрофизики до...

00:10:33,307 --> 00:10:34,482

Эй! Эй!

00:10:37,132 --> 00:10:39,540

Класс, я просто в восторге

от нового Пухли!

00:10:39,566 --> 00:10:43,251

Да. Он, да, он однозначно

00:10:43,501 --> 00:10:44,557

стал другим.

00:10:48,632 --> 00:10:50,642

Ракетная установка просто супер!

00:10:50,668 --> 00:10:52,368

Давай будем изобретать вместе!

00:10:52,394 --> 00:10:54,743

Слушай, Пухля, а ты не хочешь

посидеть со мной

00:10:54,769 --> 00:10:56,936

и записать новые радиоприколы?

00:10:56,962 --> 00:10:58,813

Мэйбл, у твоей свиньи талант!

00:10:58,839 --> 00:11:00,378

Он должен поделиться им с миром!

00:11:00,404 --> 00:11:03,832

Извини, Мэйбл. Но жизнь не исчерпывается

пародией на звук,

00:11:03,855 --> 00:11:05,764

издаваемый при метеоризме.

00:11:05,873 --> 00:11:07,350

Теперь я это понял.

00:11:08,939 --> 00:11:12,507

Ха, да! Ну, ладно!

Тогда играйте без меня.

00:11:17,738 --> 00:11:19,580

Ой, мой змей застрял в ветвях!

00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,496

Ёлки, ненавижу!

00:11:21,519 --> 00:11:23,025

Думаю, мы тебе поможем.

00:11:23,396 --> 00:11:25,732

Это противоречит природе!

00:11:25,755 --> 00:11:27,090

Ха! Забудь о змее!

00:11:27,113 --> 00:11:30,958

Вот реактивный рюкзак,

изобретенный мною. Исследуй небеса.

00:11:31,130 --> 00:11:34,528

Да, как же! Лучше буду изучать

мальчишек с высоты!

00:11:40,014 --> 00:11:41,857

Я хозяйка небес!

00:11:41,943 --> 00:11:44,159

Наш с тобой реактивный рюкзак –

просто чудо!

00:11:44,386 --> 00:11:46,681

А как же лазерное ружьё,

подаренное Кэнди?

00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,405

Умрите, зомби!

00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:53,604

В эфире снова Мэй-Мэй и мистер Хряк!

00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:58,748

Сегодня мы поговорим о том, как бороться

с одиночеством после потери соведущего.

00:11:59,482 --> 00:12:01,040

Одиночество!

00:12:02,548 --> 00:12:04,723

Что с тобой сделал противный гриб?

00:12:05,232 --> 00:12:08,088

Неужели ты стал счастливее? Я не верю!

00:12:10,988 --> 00:12:13,716

Ха-ха! Твоё крутейшее изобретение!

00:12:13,742 --> 00:12:15,837

Оно решит все проблемы человечества!

00:12:15,863 --> 00:12:18,791

И принесёт много вкуснейшего картофеля!

00:12:20,033 --> 00:12:22,830

Ням-ням-ням, никому картофель не отдам!

00:12:22,856 --> 00:12:24,729

А что это вы тут делаете?

00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:28,869

Мэйбл, ты как раз во время,

узри наше величайшее достижение,

00:12:29,151 --> 00:12:30,862

Ускоритель Мозгов!

00:12:31,487 --> 00:12:34,063

Та головоломка была

лишь верхушкой айсберга!

00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,824

А с этим Пухля разгадает

00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:37,996

все величайшие загадки вселенной.

00:12:38,082 --> 00:12:41,176

Происхождение жизни. Смысл существования.

00:12:41,199 --> 00:12:42,678

Зачем мужчинам соски.

00:12:44,795 --> 00:12:49,709

Скоро твой поросенок прославится на

весь мир! Встречи с учеными, президентами.

00:12:49,735 --> 00:12:51,986

Надо научить его носить штаны.

00:12:52,012 --> 00:12:53,308

На весь мир?

00:12:53,493 --> 00:12:55,280

Когда же ты будешь общаться с нами?

00:12:55,306 --> 00:12:56,592

Я твой лучший друг!

00:12:56,618 --> 00:12:58,310

И я – твой лучший друг, Мэйбл,

00:12:58,336 --> 00:13:00,123

но я должен помочь людям.

00:13:00,329 --> 00:13:02,083

Кто же тогда поможет мне?

00:13:02,109 --> 00:13:04,642

Неужели ты хочешь всю свою жизнь общаться

00:13:04,668 --> 00:13:06,084

со скучными дядьками в пиджаках?!

00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:08,576

Из-за гриба ты забыл,

кто ты на самом деле!

00:13:08,602 --> 00:13:10,943

И ты совсем забыл о нас!

00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:16,121

Вспомни те дни

00:13:16,144 --> 00:13:19,238

Не забывай вспоминать эти дни

00:13:19,261 --> 00:13:25,470

И никогда не забывай вспоминать эти дни

00:13:25,493 --> 00:13:26,710

Я всё понял.

00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:31,519

Какой смысл помогать всему миру, если мой

лучший друг останется без помощи?

00:13:31,708 --> 00:13:34,011

Хорошо, что я поставил

обратный переключатель.

00:13:37,717 --> 00:13:39,675

Пухля! Пухля, нет! Стой!

00:13:40,281 --> 00:13:41,599

УРОВЕНЬ ИНТЕЛЛЕКТА: СВИНЯЧИЙ

00:13:41,824 --> 00:13:42,902

Мне жаль, Диппер.

00:13:42,928 --> 00:13:45,652

В оставшиеся восемь секунд

разумности хочу сказать,

00:13:45,675 --> 00:13:49,608

что наука – это вечно убегающий горизонт,

а не осязаемый приз в руках!

00:13:49,631 --> 00:13:52,615

А еще я хочу, чтобы мне почесали животик.

00:13:54,682 --> 00:13:56,697

О, мой Пухля.

00:14:01,343 --> 00:14:03,458

Нет! Наше изобретение!

00:14:03,484 --> 00:14:05,750

Я знаю, что тебя утешит, братик!

00:14:05,773 --> 00:14:08,374

Обычные обни-машки от обычной свинки.

00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,598

Давай! Попробуем!

00:14:16,062 --> 00:14:17,799

Молодец! Фу!

00:14:18,294 --> 00:14:20,651

Хотя, знаешь? Ты прав! Не покупай свинью!

00:14:21,073 --> 00:14:23,213

Ладно, оставлю её племяннице!

00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,652

Дома мы не стреляем, солнышко!

00:14:25,675 --> 00:14:28,288

Но возможно, я заинтересую

тебя чем-то еще!

00:14:28,314 --> 00:14:30,780

Например фильмами ужасов!

00:14:31,943 --> 00:14:33,440

Очень, кстати, классные!

00:14:33,466 --> 00:14:37,003

Сидишь, смотришь фильм, девушка боится,

придвигается поближе,

00:14:37,029 --> 00:14:38,352

а потом у вас уже двойня,

00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,677

пеленки-распашонки. Короче, проехали!

00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:43,542

Дальше будет байка о пластилине!

00:14:43,601 --> 00:14:45,801

БАЙКА О ПЛАСТИЛИНЕ

00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:49,809

У тебя получилось, Яркая Звездочка!

00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:54,223

-Это у тебя получилось!

-А всё потому, что ты верила в себя.

00:14:54,246 --> 00:14:56,021

Самый идиотский мультик в мире!

00:14:56,044 --> 00:14:58,659

Так, я на 90 минут ближе к смерти!

00:14:58,682 --> 00:15:01,112

Пора вам, дети, посмотреть

классику моих дней!

00:15:01,138 --> 00:15:03,055

Фильмы для стариков!

00:15:03,078 --> 00:15:06,763

Там будут непонятные шутки и слова,

которые нельзя повторять.

00:15:08,226 --> 00:15:10,026

ПУТЕШЕСТВИЯ СИЛЬНОКУЛЕСА

00:15:10,029 --> 00:15:15,049

Тебе не победить Сильнокулеса!

Я пришел за золотыми трусами!

00:15:19,057 --> 00:15:20,151

О нет! Мэйбл!

00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:21,838

Твоя сестра испугалась.

00:15:21,864 --> 00:15:24,405

Дядя Стэн, я же не предупредил:

00:15:24,431 --> 00:15:28,129

у Мэйбл есть фобия – она жутко боится

старой кукольной анимации!

00:15:28,155 --> 00:15:30,668

Ничто на свете не пугает

её больше, чем это!

00:15:31,465 --> 00:15:33,340

Да ладно, игрушечной ерунды?!

00:15:33,420 --> 00:15:34,754

Чего там можно бояться?

00:15:35,998 --> 00:15:38,897

Там циклоп! Такой же, как в моих кошмарах!

00:15:39,557 --> 00:15:41,678

Детка, это ж кино. Он тебя не тронет.

00:15:41,704 --> 00:15:42,397

Молчи.

00:15:42,444 --> 00:15:45,184

Если заговоришь,

они залезут тебе прямо в рот!

00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,657

Дядя, зачем ты показал ей эту кассету?

00:15:47,683 --> 00:15:49,591

Нужно, чтобы она преодолела страх!

00:15:49,633 --> 00:15:52,665

Мультипликатор – Гарри Глинка.

Снято в Гравити Фолз, штат Орегон.

00:15:57,398 --> 00:15:59,533

Короче, если режиссер покажет ей,

00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,813

что это просто куклы,

может, тогда она успокоится!

00:16:01,959 --> 00:16:02,895

Даже не знаю!

00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:05,532

В интернете пишут,

что гений спецэффектов Глинка живет,

00:16:05,558 --> 00:16:06,504

как отшельник.

00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:09,019

Личное пространство! Это я уважаю!

00:16:11,698 --> 00:16:13,391

Так, все лезем через забор!

00:16:13,417 --> 00:16:16,233

Пойми, Мэйбл: эти монстры – мелкие,

00:16:16,259 --> 00:16:19,048

из пластилина и их двигат из кадра

в кадр один социопат-отшельник.

00:16:19,074 --> 00:16:21,509

Официально называется: мультипликатор!

00:16:23,137 --> 00:16:24,173

Ау?

00:16:24,626 --> 00:16:26,110

Мистер Глинка?

00:16:26,345 --> 00:16:28,251

Пришли посмотреть ваши фигурки!

00:16:28,277 --> 00:16:30,189

Мы не папарацци.

00:16:31,249 --> 00:16:31,939

Ага!

00:16:32,666 --> 00:16:35,415

Вот видишь, Мэйбл?

Это всё просто спецэффекты!

00:16:35,441 --> 00:16:36,965

-Вылезай.

-Нет!

00:16:37,105 --> 00:16:38,457

Детка, послушай меня!

00:16:38,483 --> 00:16:41,683

Уверяю тебя: в этом доме

совершенно нечего боя…

00:16:49,620 --> 00:16:51,137

Он хочет

00:16:52,049 --> 00:16:53,664

нас заграбастать!

00:16:53,781 --> 00:16:56,046

Чтобы спастись, надо замереть!

00:16:56,273 --> 00:16:58,265

Ой, не помогло!

00:17:11,915 --> 00:17:12,615

ПЛАСТИЛИН

00:17:13,617 --> 00:17:15,680

Что происходит? Чего они хотят?

00:17:15,706 --> 00:17:17,702

Боюсь, они хотят вас!

00:17:19,658 --> 00:17:22,159

Гарри Глинка! Мастер спецэффектов!

00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,167

Примерно из семидесятых годов.

00:17:24,193 --> 00:17:27,890

Увы, мои эффекты были

не только специальными!

00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,724

Что? Но почему они живые?

00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:31,370

-А как же покадровая съемка?

-Что?

00:17:31,396 --> 00:17:34,878

Ты серьёзно веришь, что кто-то стоит

и двигает их из кадра в кадр?!

00:17:34,904 --> 00:17:36,066

Я не мазохист!

00:17:36,092 --> 00:17:38,827

Я использовал черную магию,

чтобы они двигались!

00:17:38,853 --> 00:17:41,373

Сперва, было классно! Ну, а потом...

00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:44,774

Изобретена компьютерная анимация.

Покадровая съемка устарела!

00:17:45,699 --> 00:17:46,816

Нет!

00:17:47,229 --> 00:17:49,243

Бездушная технология!

00:17:49,571 --> 00:17:53,603

Оставшись без работы,

они взбесились и пленили меня!

00:17:54,393 --> 00:17:57,512

Теперь они превратят вас

в нежить из пластилина

00:17:57,608 --> 00:17:59,043

таких же, как они сами!

00:17:59,069 --> 00:18:02,270

Мистер Пайнс, зато вы сможете

работать с любимым режиссером!

00:18:02,333 --> 00:18:05,174

«Работать» в смысле

«задыхаться в комке пластилина»!

00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,595

Помогите!

00:18:07,751 --> 00:18:08,688

Кто-нибудь!

00:18:08,711 --> 00:18:09,688

Помогите!

00:18:09,711 --> 00:18:11,086

Как мне поступить?!

00:18:11,109 --> 00:18:13,494

Как мне одолеть этих жутких страшилищ?

00:18:16,924 --> 00:18:19,645

Класс, я слепила что-то симпатичное!

00:18:20,086 --> 00:18:22,963

Ой, кажется, у меня есть идея!

00:18:24,055 --> 00:18:25,704

Эй ты, одноглазый!

00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:27,797

Да, я тебе говорю, бестолочь!

00:18:28,070 --> 00:18:29,287

Давай, кто кого?

00:18:38,441 --> 00:18:40,719

Да! Ну-ка, сделай лицо попроще!

00:18:42,128 --> 00:18:44,905

У меня на тебя большие планы, чудило!

00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:46,399

Эй, вы, костяшки!

00:18:47,204 --> 00:18:49,248

Лепим из пластилина!

00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:55,764

-Круто, ты победила страх!

-Именно так. А всё потому,

00:18:55,790 --> 00:18:58,638

-что она верила в себя!

-Кончай трепаться, Звездочка!

00:18:58,664 --> 00:19:00,902

Начинай уже дубасить этих скелетов!

00:19:03,859 --> 00:19:05,114

Мэйбл, ты молодчина!

00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:08,558

-Значит, ты больше их не боишься?

-О нет, боюсь, и даже вдвое больше!

00:19:08,584 --> 00:19:10,634

Но зато теперь страх не беспричинный.

00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:13,276

Мэйбл, прости, что сомневался!

Ты была права!

00:19:13,468 --> 00:19:15,638

Покадровая анимация – это чистое зло!

00:19:15,664 --> 00:19:17,544

И, между прочим, довольно дорогое.

00:19:17,570 --> 00:19:19,614

Невероятно дорогое.

00:19:20,841 --> 00:19:22,536

Какой впечатляющий бой!

00:19:22,637 --> 00:19:24,397

Хорошо, что я – лишь наблюдатель!

00:19:27,172 --> 00:19:28,290

Отличная концовка!

00:19:30,643 --> 00:19:34,321

«Сильнокулес и Существо

с неразумно большим количеством голов!»

00:19:34,946 --> 00:19:38,331

Сегодняшний день научил нас тому,

что страх можно перебороть.

00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,800

Да, хорошо, что те монстры

не перебороли нас!

00:19:41,019 --> 00:19:42,394

Мамочки мои!

00:19:43,674 --> 00:19:45,889

Да я же теперь могу стать кем угодно!

00:19:48,247 --> 00:19:51,495

Даже сквозь стены – могу! Ого, ого!

00:19:52,762 --> 00:19:53,970

Не бойтесь, детишки!

00:19:54,598 --> 00:19:55,337

Он готов!

00:19:56,673 --> 00:19:59,538

Не понял: свинью не хочешь, кассеты тоже,

00:19:59,561 --> 00:20:00,860

что же ты будешь брать?

00:20:01,431 --> 00:20:03,312

А может возьмёшь волшебное зелье?

00:20:03,475 --> 00:20:05,593

Держи первый глоток бесплатно!

00:20:12,809 --> 00:20:15,497

Нужно было покупать, когда предлагали!

00:20:15,945 --> 00:20:17,083

Ну, ничего!

00:20:17,371 --> 00:20:19,905

У меня будет новый экспонат для витрины!

00:20:23,936 --> 00:20:26,024

А здесь наш самый новый экспонат:

00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:27,581

легендарный крохобор!

00:20:27,973 --> 00:20:29,366

Почему он моргает?

00:20:30,116 --> 00:20:31,626

Это просто обман зрения!

00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,184

Пожалуйста, идемте дальше.

00:20:33,207 --> 00:20:34,343

Не отставайте!

00:20:37,962 --> 00:20:39,386

Да, я такой!

00:20:39,785 --> 00:20:42,152

Привет, поиграем в крестики-нолики?

00:20:45,260 --> 00:20:47,783

Нет, я хочу быть крестиком,

давай я буду крестиком!

00:20:47,809 --> 00:20:49,546

Поверь, дружище, лучше уступи.

00:20:50,990 --> 00:20:51,890

Ура!

00:20:53,004 --> 00:20:55,374

Ой, нет, прости, передумала.

Я буду ноликом!

00:20:56,653 --> 00:20:58,541

Постой, ты наверно ужасно разозлишься,

00:20:58,567 --> 00:21:00,645

но можно я все-таки буду крестиком?

00:21:02,486 --> 00:21:03,986

ПОМОГИТЕ!

00:21:04,036 --> 00:21:05,835

По-моему, ты как-то не так играешь.