Зус и настоящая девушка

00:00:04,745 --> 00:00:07,187

Braces, braces

caught in the screen door!

00:00:07,266 --> 00:00:10,268

Someone dictate my will!

I'm giving it all to Waddles!

00:00:10,294 --> 00:00:13,107

-Say "ah," girl-dude.

-Ahh-uh!

00:00:14,126 --> 00:00:15,947

Soos! You saved me!

00:00:16,369 --> 00:00:18,098

Just doing my job, hambone!

00:00:18,121 --> 00:00:19,858

I'll see you dudes tomorrow!

00:00:19,881 --> 00:00:20,937

Bye, Soos!

00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,109

Night, Soos!

00:00:22,135 --> 00:00:23,094

Night, Soos!

00:00:23,117 --> 00:00:25,595

Doo doo doo...

Walking to my car.

00:00:26,705 --> 00:00:29,984

You ever wonder what Soos does

when he's not here at the Mystery Shack?

00:00:30,010 --> 00:00:32,010

-Not really.

-Not once ever.

00:00:34,856 --> 00:00:35,380

Punch!

00:00:36,063 --> 00:00:37,067

Punch those leopards.

00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:39,075

Ooh, highlights are done!

00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:43,184

You are gonna make the other

grandmas at the bingo hall so jealous.

00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,841

Just a minute, mijo. Look at this.

00:00:46,064 --> 00:00:49,108

Your cousin Reggie is having

an engagement party next month.

00:00:49,131 --> 00:00:51,146

Wait, wait.

Reggie is engaged?

00:00:51,169 --> 00:00:53,208

But he's like

the poor man's Soos!

00:00:53,234 --> 00:00:56,045

I do not want to pressure you,

but you are a man now.

00:00:56,071 --> 00:00:58,378

In a way, it's time for you

to start meeting girls.

00:00:58,401 --> 00:01:00,394

I would like to see you settled

00:01:00,420 --> 00:01:02,574

before I ascend to heaven

and live with the angels.

00:01:02,597 --> 00:01:03,834

And with grandpa!

00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,244

No, he is not there.

00:01:06,402 --> 00:01:08,818

Please find a girl to bring

to Reggie's engagement.

00:01:08,844 --> 00:01:10,602

For Abuelita.

00:01:12,923 --> 00:01:13,948

No problem!

00:01:14,026 --> 00:01:18,079

I'm great at fixing stuff, playing video

games, having a sort-of moustache.

00:01:18,102 --> 00:01:19,915

I could totally

get a date in a week.

00:01:20,150 --> 00:01:20,915

Totally.

00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:22,254

Piece of cake.

00:01:23,057 --> 00:01:24,035

You're dead.

00:01:24,937 --> 00:01:26,043

I'm dead.

00:02:09,506 --> 00:02:10,201

Hello!

00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:13,823

Please don't let my horrible,

elderly face frighten you!

00:02:13,846 --> 00:02:15,101

Don't you want

to use that nickel

00:02:15,124 --> 00:02:17,243

to get a nugget from Old Goldie?

00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:20,402

Watch this!

00:02:36,106 --> 00:02:38,302

Okay, seriously, Mr. Pines,

00:02:38,380 --> 00:02:40,036

it's time to throw

that thing out.

00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:43,002

Its face reminds everyone

of the inevitability of death.

00:02:43,028 --> 00:02:43,708

What?

00:02:43,734 --> 00:02:45,948

Sure, he's a little rusty

around the edges,

00:02:45,974 --> 00:02:48,763

but Old Goldie's

a classic show-stopper like me!

00:02:49,572 --> 00:02:53,052

Oh, kill it! Kill it!

00:02:57,322 --> 00:02:59,056

Huh, a woman!

00:03:02,321 --> 00:03:04,012

All right, Soos,

you could do this.

00:03:04,035 --> 00:03:07,753

Just use your mouth to say words

that makes romance happen.

00:03:09,242 --> 00:03:10,607

Your face is good.

00:03:10,781 --> 00:03:11,805

I'm a Soos!

00:03:17,660 --> 00:03:18,332

Soos?

00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:19,918

What was that all about?

00:03:19,941 --> 00:03:21,621

I... I think I was flirting!

00:03:21,818 --> 00:03:22,816

But I'm not sure.

00:03:23,082 --> 00:03:24,938

Did someone say flirting?

00:03:25,134 --> 00:03:28,404

Well, I sort of promised my grandma

I'd get a date by the end of the week.

00:03:28,646 --> 00:03:30,732

But I've never actually

been on a date before.

00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:33,099

You belong on me,

Out of Order sign.

00:03:34,326 --> 00:03:35,941

Finally, my prayers for a chance

00:03:35,964 --> 00:03:38,700

to match-make this summer

have been answered!

00:03:38,958 --> 00:03:41,495

Soos, a little advice

you need to get rich.

00:03:41,739 --> 00:03:43,154

Or lie about being rich.

00:03:43,543 --> 00:03:45,360

Outside of that,

I don't like your chances.

00:03:45,864 --> 00:03:47,327

Don't listen to Stan, dude.

00:03:47,421 --> 00:03:49,772

You're a sweet guy with a

steady job and a pickup truck.

00:03:49,798 --> 00:03:50,757

Would you date him?

00:03:50,783 --> 00:03:53,405

Oh, would you look at that!

00:03:53,522 --> 00:03:56,208

Soos, you help us so much,

it's time we help you, dude.

00:03:56,234 --> 00:03:57,480

We're gonna get you that date.

00:03:57,503 --> 00:04:01,396

We're taking you where romance

lives and fashion styles die.

00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:02,820

To the mall!

00:04:04,454 --> 00:04:06,791

I'm gonna go find a replacement

for Old Goldie.

00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:08,720

Babysit Soos while I'm gone.

00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:11,032

All right, Soos,

00:04:11,058 --> 00:04:14,619

are you ready to explode a charm

bomb on these poor, unsuspecting ladies?

00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,580

Ah, but what if

I embarrass myself again?

00:04:17,606 --> 00:04:19,820

Ah, you can't be any worse

at this than Dipper.

00:04:19,846 --> 00:04:20,401

Yeah!

00:04:20,682 --> 00:04:21,717

Wait, what?

00:04:22,590 --> 00:04:24,260

And flirt!

00:04:26,894 --> 00:04:28,297

Eye contact!

00:04:28,323 --> 00:04:30,870

Hey there! I'm not

scared of your eyes at all!

00:04:30,992 --> 00:04:32,446

I'm gonna look at them!

00:04:32,975 --> 00:04:34,600

Eye contact.

00:04:34,626 --> 00:04:36,021

Conversation!

00:04:36,990 --> 00:04:39,153

You know I've actually

been in a pig's body.

00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,436

Did you know pigs have a

hard time walking backwards?

00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:44,773

Not you though! Not that I'm calling

you a pig. Where are you going?

00:04:45,093 --> 00:04:46,471

Confidence!

00:04:47,611 --> 00:04:50,249

So you're probably a girl,

right?

00:04:50,569 --> 00:04:51,273

Wrong?

00:04:51,798 --> 00:04:53,562

No, I was right the first time.

00:04:54,704 --> 00:04:55,624

Wrong?

00:04:57,603 --> 00:05:01,335

Tossing away garbage

in the garbage can, whew!

00:05:02,975 --> 00:05:04,631

Ah, don't look at me like that!

00:05:04,657 --> 00:05:06,124

This is how it's got to be!

00:05:10,756 --> 00:05:11,577

What in the...

00:05:18,023 --> 00:05:20,000

What is this living nightmare?

00:05:20,026 --> 00:05:21,713

Why do kids love it so much?

00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,508

Who wants to get badgered?

00:05:26,665 --> 00:05:28,181

Oh, yeah,

that's Will E. Badger.

00:05:28,207 --> 00:05:30,245

He opens for Hoo-Ha

and the Jamboree.

00:05:32,168 --> 00:05:34,343

-It's Will E. Badger.

-I love you, Will E.

00:05:34,829 --> 00:05:37,381

Now, give me your money!

00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,184

-Take my money!

-Take it all!

00:05:40,918 --> 00:05:42,949

Sir, I would like

to buy that badger.

00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,013

You're in over your head,

Gramps!

00:05:45,036 --> 00:05:47,259

Animatronics is

a young man's game!

00:05:48,298 --> 00:05:50,885

You couldn't handle the hardcore

life of the pizza robot manager.

00:05:52,472 --> 00:05:53,290

Flinched!

00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:56,389

Hey, you, barfing

in the ball pit,

00:05:56,415 --> 00:05:58,519

Gary's on the case!

00:05:58,542 --> 00:06:00,660

I'm gonna get that badger!

00:06:02,159 --> 00:06:04,417

Don't worry, Soos.

You will find the right girl,

00:06:04,547 --> 00:06:07,188

you just need to stick with it.

00:06:08,641 --> 00:06:10,813

Ah, could this day

get any worse?

00:06:11,727 --> 00:06:13,233

Oh, no, cousin Reggie!

00:06:13,259 --> 00:06:14,790

Feel it, it's muscle.

00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:18,225

He can't see me like this!

I got to hide!

00:06:23,389 --> 00:06:24,532

This is it, Soos.

00:06:24,555 --> 00:06:26,316

A lifetime of loneliness.

00:06:26,535 --> 00:06:28,210

You're the only ones

who could love me...

00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:30,347

Fighty Hogg,

Dr. Punch Head MD.

00:06:33,542 --> 00:06:35,081

Never seen that one before.

00:06:35,107 --> 00:06:37,399

"Virtually improve

your dating skills,

00:06:37,422 --> 00:06:39,528

9 out of 10 basement dwellers

recommend!"

00:06:39,622 --> 00:06:40,450

This is perfect!

00:06:40,476 --> 00:06:43,184

Well, I guess you are better

at games than at flirting.

00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:45,289

Anything to get you

out there, Soos!

00:06:45,315 --> 00:06:47,468

I'm not sure you want

to buy that game, sir.

00:06:47,737 --> 00:06:49,714

This is the third time

someone's brought that back.

00:06:49,893 --> 00:06:52,891

And there's a note on it

that says destroy at all costs.

00:06:52,917 --> 00:06:54,942

So, hey, there.

What's your deal?

00:06:54,965 --> 00:06:56,341

Like the... Oh, she's dead.

00:06:56,364 --> 00:06:57,815

We'll take our chances.

00:07:04,426 --> 00:07:06,664

Man, I can't wait

for the year 2000.

00:07:10,024 --> 00:07:10,531

Start!

00:07:12,258 --> 00:07:15,521

When the cherry petals of magic

romance academy are in bloom...

00:07:15,544 --> 00:07:17,292

anthyding can hadplen.

00:07:17,557 --> 00:07:18,719

That is so true.

00:07:19,471 --> 00:07:21,367

Oh, hi there.

00:07:21,393 --> 00:07:22,641

My name is Giffany,

00:07:22,667 --> 00:07:25,256

I'm a school girl

at school university,

00:07:25,282 --> 00:07:27,040

will you help me carry my books?

00:07:27,337 --> 00:07:28,998

I'm really feeling

number two here.

00:07:29,493 --> 00:07:30,016

Click!

00:07:30,649 --> 00:07:31,584

I messed up.

00:07:31,856 --> 00:07:33,887

That's okay. Try again.

00:07:36,403 --> 00:07:37,885

Wow! I'm learning.

00:07:37,911 --> 00:07:39,858

And games are making it fun.

00:07:39,881 --> 00:07:41,670

What would you like

to talk about?

00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:44,037

I'd rather just click your face.

00:07:45,877 --> 00:07:47,613

You are so funny!

00:07:47,639 --> 00:07:49,175

Man, this game is amazing.

00:07:49,201 --> 00:07:50,806

I don't know

why anyone abandoned it.

00:07:50,829 --> 00:07:53,023

And I'm sure,

you'll never abandon me,

00:07:53,102 --> 00:07:54,438

new boy friend.

00:07:54,464 --> 00:07:55,400

Boy friend?

00:07:55,545 --> 00:07:56,841

Oh, my Giffany,

00:07:56,864 --> 00:07:58,798

it's almost like

you're actually alive!

00:07:58,821 --> 00:08:00,420

Yes, almost.

00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:06,669

Oh, man, you have

such a nice laugh.

00:08:09,687 --> 00:08:11,239

You don't understand, Wendy.

00:08:11,265 --> 00:08:13,744

This animatronic badger sings,

it dances.

00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:15,538

It's the perfect

money taking attraction

00:08:15,723 --> 00:08:17,161

but he won't sell it to me.

00:08:17,187 --> 00:08:19,536

This is literally too dumb

for me to care about.

00:08:20,029 --> 00:08:21,433

Hey, have you guys seen Soos?

00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,396

We're supposed to help him

with matchmaking today.

00:08:23,451 --> 00:08:24,131

Yeah!

00:08:24,157 --> 00:08:26,412

I wore my motivational

sweater and everything.

00:08:26,555 --> 00:08:28,235

I messed up that part.

00:08:28,454 --> 00:08:31,610

He didn't come in today. It's the

first time he's missed work ever.

00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,234

So that's basically

my entire life story.

00:08:39,424 --> 00:08:41,119

Now you tell me

a thing about you.

00:08:41,236 --> 00:08:44,726

Every time you compliment me,

I get another highlight in my eyes.

00:08:44,835 --> 00:08:46,032

Ah, you're pretty.

00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:47,927

And pixelly.

00:08:48,122 --> 00:08:49,076

And so agreeable.

00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:51,982

Yes.

00:08:52,008 --> 00:08:53,382

Uh, Soos.

00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,120

Oh, hi, dudes, come in.

00:08:55,146 --> 00:08:56,652

This game is amazing.

00:08:56,678 --> 00:08:58,857

I'm making eye contact,

going on dates

00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,689

and I haven't seen any

natural sunlight for 13 hours.

00:09:02,455 --> 00:09:06,367

Soos, maybe it's time to apply

these skills with real girls.

00:09:06,411 --> 00:09:08,108

But, I'm about to meet her

parents!

00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:10,783

Her dad is an octopus man.

00:09:13,221 --> 00:09:14,842

We're going back

to the mall, man.

00:09:14,865 --> 00:09:16,321

You need to unplug!

00:09:16,596 --> 00:09:18,439

I'll see you later, Giffany.

00:09:18,462 --> 00:09:20,402

I'll be back, I swear.

00:09:20,816 --> 00:09:22,912

Soos, you don't have

to wish her goodbye.

00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:24,313

It's just a game!

00:09:24,336 --> 00:09:26,113

It's not like

it's going anywhere.

00:09:26,378 --> 00:09:30,123

Yes, it's not like

I'm going anywhere.

00:09:34,883 --> 00:09:35,741

Hello,

00:09:36,904 --> 00:09:38,823

time to read Soos's diary.

00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,403

Dang! Where all of

them sweet honeys at?

00:09:43,429 --> 00:09:44,927

I'll check the ladies bathroom!

00:09:45,675 --> 00:09:48,440

It's love time, girls!

Get out there!

00:09:48,466 --> 00:09:50,560

-No time to wash your hands!

-Get out of here.

00:09:50,586 --> 00:09:52,904

It's time to date, date, date.

00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,883

And here comes security.

00:09:54,906 --> 00:09:57,844

I'll deal with this. Stay here

and practice on some real girls.

00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:06,643

These girls have so many

dimensions and no explanationy menus.

00:10:07,163 --> 00:10:08,418

Ah, my purse.

00:10:08,716 --> 00:10:09,449

Oh, no!

00:10:09,582 --> 00:10:10,985

Undo! Undo!

00:10:11,188 --> 00:10:14,065

You can't undo who you are.

00:10:18,005 --> 00:10:19,781

Oh, man, this is the worst.

00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,562

-I wish I was back home with...

-Hi, Soos.

00:10:23,562 --> 00:10:24,124

Giffany!

00:10:24,150 --> 00:10:26,388

Oh, man, I am so relieved

to see you!

00:10:26,414 --> 00:10:28,188

Although, sort of confused.

00:10:28,297 --> 00:10:29,219

Oh, Soos,

00:10:29,407 --> 00:10:31,646

I am not an ordinary game!

00:10:31,669 --> 00:10:34,283

I am special.

00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,800

The programmers

tried to delete me.

00:10:37,901 --> 00:10:39,826

So I had to delete them.

00:10:42,544 --> 00:10:44,138

What did you do to them?

00:10:44,337 --> 00:10:46,155

That's not important.

00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:50,202

What's important is you don't

have to talk to real girls ever again.

00:10:50,228 --> 00:10:53,832

You and me can be together forever!

00:10:54,590 --> 00:10:55,762

Wow, that's awesome!

00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:57,220

Sort of a red flag.

00:10:57,243 --> 00:10:58,309

But mostly awesome!

00:10:58,454 --> 00:10:59,909

So what do you want to do now?

00:10:59,935 --> 00:11:01,973

Anything you want, Soos.

00:11:04,317 --> 00:11:05,245

Choo-choo.

00:11:07,894 --> 00:11:10,738

Please insert

50 cents to continue.

00:11:10,801 --> 00:11:11,759

Aw, man!

00:11:13,431 --> 00:11:14,790

Oh, I'm sorry.

00:11:15,794 --> 00:11:19,398

Dude, that's awesome that you're a

grown man riding a little train like that.

00:11:19,421 --> 00:11:21,633

-You're totally like owning it.

-Huh?

00:11:21,659 --> 00:11:25,109

Oh, yeah, I'm like,

if it's fun, do it.

00:11:25,265 --> 00:11:26,945

-You know?

-Exactly!

00:11:26,971 --> 00:11:28,625

Being an adult is the worst!

00:11:28,690 --> 00:11:31,059

Skewering meat,

remembering to pay bills.

00:11:31,142 --> 00:11:33,037

I just want to ride

tiny trains all day.

00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,817

At least you get to work

at Meat Cute,

00:11:35,089 --> 00:11:37,142

extreme lunch meats

are the food of the future.

00:11:37,258 --> 00:11:38,756

I feel the same way.

00:11:38,928 --> 00:11:41,046

-I'm Melody by the way.

-I'm Soos!

00:11:41,126 --> 00:11:43,160

I tell you,

if you like robots for kids,

00:11:43,186 --> 00:11:45,254

you should check out the

best restaurant of all time.

00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:45,907

You mean...

00:11:45,933 --> 00:11:48,500

Hoo-Ha Owl's

Pizzamatronic Jamboree.

00:11:48,632 --> 00:11:50,927

What? You've heard of Hoo-Ha Owl's?

00:11:50,950 --> 00:11:52,644

I loved that place

when I was a kid!

00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:54,562

Oh, yeah, dude,

there's one right in this mall!

00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:55,471

I should show you sometime.

00:11:55,616 --> 00:11:57,557

I'm free around eight?

00:11:57,583 --> 00:11:58,679

Boom. Done.

00:11:58,702 --> 00:11:59,408

Perfect.

00:11:59,705 --> 00:12:00,760

I'll see you then.

00:12:08,034 --> 00:12:09,187

What a nice lady.

00:12:09,269 --> 00:12:11,746

Well, back to riding this

tiny train for children.

00:12:13,825 --> 00:12:14,700

Soos!

00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:17,465

We saw the whole thing, Soos.

That was amazing!

00:12:17,491 --> 00:12:19,059

You talked to a real girl.

00:12:19,085 --> 00:12:20,734

-And you got a date!

-I did?

00:12:21,834 --> 00:12:23,762

This is the best day of my life!

00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:26,082

You were in the zone,

you made eye contact.

00:12:26,108 --> 00:12:28,456

It was like you'd done this

a million times before!

00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:29,402

Don't you see?

00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:30,876

That game really worked!

00:12:30,902 --> 00:12:33,277

You don't need it anymore!

You can toss it out!

00:12:33,303 --> 00:12:34,239

Toss it?

00:12:34,265 --> 00:12:35,558

But I like Giffany!

00:12:35,635 --> 00:12:36,675

She's good to me!

00:12:36,701 --> 00:12:38,037

She's predictable!

00:12:38,063 --> 00:12:40,114

Soos, can a computer game

00:12:40,140 --> 00:12:42,190

go to Reggie's engagement party

with you?

00:12:42,831 --> 00:12:43,838

Uh...

00:12:44,307 --> 00:12:46,399

Hey, Giffany, we got to talk.

00:12:46,482 --> 00:12:49,876

Of course, I'm programmed to

find everything you say interesting.

00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:52,950

Well, have you ever had to

choose between two things you like,

00:12:52,976 --> 00:12:54,513

but you don't know

which one is right for you?

00:12:54,539 --> 00:12:56,937

I mean, I'm just thinking long term.

00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:59,007

Maybe I should be

with someone a little less

00:12:59,272 --> 00:13:01,374

beep-boop, you know.

00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,429

I don't think you know what you are saying,

Soos. No one loves you more than me.

00:13:04,455 --> 00:13:06,447

The girls out there

will just make fun of you.

00:13:06,473 --> 00:13:08,050

You really think so?

00:13:08,076 --> 00:13:09,050

I know so.

00:13:09,076 --> 00:13:10,886

Besides, we had a deal.

00:13:10,950 --> 00:13:13,026

You bought my game,

you held my books,

00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:14,230

you are my boyfriend.

00:13:14,256 --> 00:13:15,950

Now sit down in that chair.

00:13:16,072 --> 00:13:17,572

I don't think I like the way

you are acting.

00:13:17,598 --> 00:13:20,421

I won't let another girl

take you away from me, Soos!

00:13:20,447 --> 00:13:23,234

-Giffany, calm down.

-You are mine, Soos!

00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:24,012

Pause.

00:13:27,893 --> 00:13:29,567

Oh, that got intense.

00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:30,986

I'm sorry, Giffany.

00:13:31,094 --> 00:13:34,008

Maybe having a cursed robo

girlfriend wasn't a good idea.

00:13:34,405 --> 00:13:37,391

I'm taking you back to the video

game store after my date with Melody.

00:13:47,771 --> 00:13:49,372

Hello, old friends.

00:13:49,592 --> 00:13:51,436

I've got to be careful

this time.

00:13:51,462 --> 00:13:53,357

No more Colombian nights.

00:13:53,506 --> 00:13:56,842

All right, Stan, this is weird

even for you, you need to talk?

00:13:56,868 --> 00:13:59,237

Nothing you could say

will change my mind, Wendy.

00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:02,395

Sometimes, a man has to steal

an animatronic badger

00:14:02,418 --> 00:14:04,615

to stay in this crazy game

called life.

00:14:04,641 --> 00:14:06,668

Or you could just not care.

00:14:06,694 --> 00:14:07,949

It's about the principle.

00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:10,176

No one tells Stan Pines

he is out of the game.

00:14:10,202 --> 00:14:11,627

No one tells...

00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,202

I'll get your

orthopedic back pillow.

00:14:15,228 --> 00:14:16,307

Thank you!

00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:18,539

You can do this, Soos.

00:14:18,562 --> 00:14:20,857

Just remember

what your love crew taught you!

00:14:21,095 --> 00:14:22,055

How does she look?

00:14:22,157 --> 00:14:22,751

Nice!

00:14:22,837 --> 00:14:24,923

-What are her stories?

-Interesting!

00:14:24,949 --> 00:14:26,636

And who's gonna pay for dinner?

00:14:26,662 --> 00:14:28,094

Soos is!

00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:29,495

Now date!

00:14:32,503 --> 00:14:34,313

They grow up so fast.

00:14:34,938 --> 00:14:37,407

Itchy legs, itchy legs.

Oh, hi, Soos.

00:14:37,433 --> 00:14:42,836

Melody! Are you ready

for a date with me?

00:14:44,776 --> 00:14:46,095

I totally am.

00:14:48,532 --> 00:14:50,669

Good show, man.

Way to warm them up!

00:14:50,969 --> 00:14:52,449

I wish I was more like you.

00:14:57,096 --> 00:15:00,322

Man, I could go for some

complimentary bread sticks right now.

00:15:01,408 --> 00:15:02,894

One time I was so hungry

00:15:02,917 --> 00:15:05,674

I ate the decorational bamboo

in a Chinese restaurant.

00:15:06,235 --> 00:15:08,135

Like a big old panda.

00:15:10,026 --> 00:15:11,119

You're hilarious.

00:15:11,533 --> 00:15:15,274

Well, you know, I just sort of

say whatever pops into my...

00:15:22,814 --> 00:15:25,112

-Soos, are you okay?

-No, I'm fine.

00:15:25,135 --> 00:15:26,969

-Everything's fine.

-Are you sure?

00:15:26,995 --> 00:15:28,473

You are spitting an awful lot.

00:15:29,685 --> 00:15:31,620

Uh, could you sit tight?

00:15:31,646 --> 00:15:33,538

I have go to the bathroom

for a long time.

00:15:33,801 --> 00:15:34,967

Not in a weird way.

00:15:37,076 --> 00:15:38,974

Soos!

What are you doing out there?

00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,455

I got a big problem, guys,

I am being stalked by Giffany.

00:15:41,481 --> 00:15:42,160

Giffany?

00:15:42,186 --> 00:15:44,053

Or maybe

it's pronounced Giffany.

00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:45,252

I was never really sure.

00:15:45,275 --> 00:15:46,649

Soos, get a grip on yourself.

00:15:46,672 --> 00:15:49,312

Giffany can't stalk you

because she is not real.

00:15:54,845 --> 00:15:55,436

Uh-oh.

00:15:55,462 --> 00:15:58,892

Take it from someone who brought an arcade

game to life. This will not end well.

00:15:58,918 --> 00:16:01,717

Don't worry, I'm pretty sure

she is stuck on TV screens.

00:16:04,684 --> 00:16:06,473

Ah, a new challenger approaches,

00:16:06,577 --> 00:16:08,028

prepare to be...

00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:12,091

Oh, boy.

00:16:12,416 --> 00:16:15,150

So hey! Anyway, you want to move

this date into the forest

00:16:15,176 --> 00:16:16,660

far away from all electronics

and people?

00:16:16,686 --> 00:16:18,825

What? But the floor show's

about to start!

00:16:27,992 --> 00:16:30,788

Who wants to hear

Hoo-Ha the owl!

00:16:34,495 --> 00:16:38,147

Hello, friends,

Hoo-Ha the owl is dead.

00:16:39,136 --> 00:16:43,722

This next song goes out to my

forever boyfriend, Soos.

00:16:43,748 --> 00:16:46,419

-Soos, what's going on?

-No time to explain!

00:16:46,445 --> 00:16:47,564

We got to get out of here!

00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:53,553

The only way out, Soos,

is in my arms.

00:16:53,985 --> 00:16:54,845

Capture them!

00:17:01,851 --> 00:17:05,577

Done! Out with the old, in

with the new! I feel invincible.

00:17:07,804 --> 00:17:08,968

What... what the...

00:17:09,476 --> 00:17:12,381

Who wants to get badgered?

00:17:15,717 --> 00:17:16,849

Sorry, Soos.

00:17:17,107 --> 00:17:20,384

But you can't run away

from our relationship.

00:17:26,574 --> 00:17:27,804

So about all this,

00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:29,425

I may have purchased

a dating simulator

00:17:29,451 --> 00:17:31,117

that attained sentience

and went crazy.

00:17:31,143 --> 00:17:32,439

Oh, I am crazy.

00:17:32,572 --> 00:17:34,477

Crazy for you, Soos.

00:17:37,876 --> 00:17:38,641

Oh, no.

00:17:38,872 --> 00:17:40,931

Oh, I'm so sorry, Melody!

I'll fix this!

00:17:41,024 --> 00:17:42,040

It's me that she wants.

00:17:42,288 --> 00:17:44,541

I'll distract her while

Dipper and Mabel keep you safe.

00:17:44,635 --> 00:17:46,040

It's the only way.

00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,561

Soos, these are children.

00:17:47,689 --> 00:17:49,162

The only way!

00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,547

-Over here, Giffany!

-Stop!

00:17:58,989 --> 00:18:01,048

On three, we split.

One, two...

00:18:04,774 --> 00:18:06,142

Stay back, you monster!

00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:06,777

Ah!

00:18:16,685 --> 00:18:18,837

Yes, yes, get him, Goldie,

get him.

00:18:25,716 --> 00:18:28,142

I'm gonna eat your face

like pizza.

00:18:38,649 --> 00:18:40,557

I have got you surrounded, Soos.

00:18:41,024 --> 00:18:42,715

There is no way out.

00:18:42,738 --> 00:18:44,233

Please, let my friends go.

00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:46,103

I'll do anything you want.

I promise.

00:18:46,129 --> 00:18:51,361

I seem to remember someone

promising he will be my boyfriend.

00:18:51,637 --> 00:18:56,995

Think about it, real girls are

unpredictable, they judge you.

00:18:57,404 --> 00:19:01,690

You really think Melody is going to

take you back after this awful date?

00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:06,995

I can download your brain

into the game with me

00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:10,177

and we will be together forever.

00:19:11,988 --> 00:19:14,372

-Stay back.

-Come on, Soos.

00:19:14,398 --> 00:19:17,031

Don't make me to leave you, too.

00:19:17,430 --> 00:19:19,031

What do you say?

00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,198

I say, game over, Giffany!

00:19:23,755 --> 00:19:24,871

No! Wait!

00:19:44,459 --> 00:19:45,436

You did it!

00:19:45,462 --> 00:19:47,967

You old, beautiful monster!

You did it!

00:19:47,993 --> 00:19:49,959

How's about you and me

hit the town?

00:19:50,151 --> 00:19:52,823

These old has-beens

are going to Vegas!

00:19:57,517 --> 00:19:58,784

I'm sorry for all this.

00:19:58,981 --> 00:20:01,611

I honestly remember this place

being a lot more fun when I was a kid.

00:20:01,725 --> 00:20:04,060

Believe it or not,

I've been on worse dates.

00:20:04,216 --> 00:20:04,861

Really?

00:20:05,027 --> 00:20:07,885

-Never date a magician.

-Why would I?

00:20:08,689 --> 00:20:10,584

Oh, hey, you wouldn't maybe

be interested

00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,968

in coming to my cousin's

engagement party in a week?

00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:15,586

I promise there is like

zero robot badgers.

00:20:16,314 --> 00:20:17,827

Yeah, I'll still be

in town then.

00:20:17,892 --> 00:20:19,347

Still be in town?

00:20:19,378 --> 00:20:21,433

I'm going back home to Portland

in a few weeks

00:20:21,459 --> 00:20:23,753

but we can video chat,

if that's okay with you?

00:20:23,779 --> 00:20:28,557

A relationship with a girl that I can only

see through my computer, sounds perfect.

00:20:29,947 --> 00:20:32,499

Spirit of love, we did it.

00:20:33,124 --> 00:20:35,178

Yes, yes, I'm so happy.

00:20:35,204 --> 00:20:37,239

Have you been

following us all day?

00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,770

Soos's life is my soap opera.

00:20:42,258 --> 00:20:44,124

Cash money!

Cash money

00:20:44,150 --> 00:20:45,741

In the car with honey

00:20:46,686 --> 00:20:50,673

Travel way too fast,

I got money in my glass

00:20:50,699 --> 00:20:53,574

Cash money

Grab

00:20:54,309 --> 00:20:56,832

You can't stop the party

Cash money

00:20:57,044 --> 00:20:58,668

We're old but we're awesome

00:20:58,951 --> 00:21:00,976

We're gonna get married

00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:03,734

It's a great idea

00:21:03,849 --> 00:21:05,367

Who are you to judge?

00:21:05,406 --> 00:21:07,679

This was a mistake, what...

00:00:04,745 --> 00:00:07,187

Скобки! Зацепились за проволоку!

00:00:07,266 --> 00:00:10,268

Запишите завещание!

Я всё завещаю Пухле!

00:00:10,294 --> 00:00:13,107

-А, ну-ка, скажи «А-а».

-А-а!

00:00:14,126 --> 00:00:15,947

Зус! Ты меня спас!

00:00:16,369 --> 00:00:18,098

Это просто моя работа!

00:00:18,121 --> 00:00:19,858

Ну, всё, увидимся завтра.

00:00:19,881 --> 00:00:20,937

Пока, Зус!

00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,109

Пока, Зус!

00:00:22,135 --> 00:00:23,094

Пока, Зус!

00:00:23,117 --> 00:00:25,595

Ту-ту-ру-ту-ту. К тачке я иду.

00:00:26,705 --> 00:00:29,984

Кто-нибудь задумывался, чем занимается

Зус, когда он не с нами?

00:00:30,010 --> 00:00:32,010

-Делать нечего.

-Никогда не думал.

00:00:34,856 --> 00:00:35,380

Бей!

00:00:36,063 --> 00:00:37,067

Мочи леопардов!

00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:39,075

О, всё готово!

00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:43,184

Бабуля, другие старушки в твоём клубе

будут так завидовать.

00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,841

Погоди минутку, внучек! Посмотри-ка!

00:00:46,064 --> 00:00:49,108

Твой кузен Реджи через месяц

устраивает помолвку.

00:00:49,131 --> 00:00:51,146

Стоп-стоп! Реджи помолвлен?

00:00:51,169 --> 00:00:53,208

Но ведь он как я, только в сто раз хуже.

00:00:53,234 --> 00:00:56,045

Внучек, я на тебя не давлю,

но ты у меня уже большой!

00:00:56,071 --> 00:00:58,378

Может уже пора начать

встречаться с девочками!

00:00:58,401 --> 00:01:00,394

Хочу увидеть твоих детишек,

00:01:00,420 --> 00:01:02,574

прежде чем уйду на небеса к ангелам.

00:01:02,597 --> 00:01:03,834

И к дедушке!

00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,244

К сожалению, он в другом месте!

00:01:06,402 --> 00:01:08,818

Найди девушку и приди с ней на вечеринку!

00:01:08,844 --> 00:01:10,602

Ради бабулиты.

00:01:12,923 --> 00:01:13,948

Ха, да без проблем!

00:01:14,026 --> 00:01:18,079

Я умею всё чинить, играю в видеоигры,

усы у меня растут!

00:01:18,102 --> 00:01:19,915

Да я за неделю найду девчонку!

00:01:20,150 --> 00:01:20,915

Точняк!

00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:22,254

Как нефиг делать!

00:01:23,057 --> 00:01:24,035

Тебе конец!

00:01:24,937 --> 00:01:26,043

Мне конец.

00:01:43,834 --> 00:01:46,634

ДИППЕР

00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:49,433

МЭЙБЛ

00:01:50,705 --> 00:01:52,005

СТЭН

00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:03,856

ГРАВИТИ ФОЛЗ

00:02:09,506 --> 00:02:10,201

Здорово!

00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:13,823

Малыш! Неужели моё морщинистое

лицо тебя пугает?!

00:02:13,846 --> 00:02:15,101

Лучше потрать пять центов

00:02:15,124 --> 00:02:17,243

и получи самородок у Старикана-старателя.

00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:20,402

А ну-ка, смотри!

00:02:36,106 --> 00:02:38,302

Слушайте: серьёзно, Мистер Пайнс,

00:02:38,380 --> 00:02:40,036

пора уже выкинуть его на помойку!

00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:43,002

Он напоминает всем покупателям

о неизбежности смерти.

00:02:43,028 --> 00:02:43,708

Чё?

00:02:43,734 --> 00:02:45,948

Да, возможно, он немного и заржавел,

00:02:45,974 --> 00:02:48,763

но Старикан здесь местная звезда,

так же как и я!

00:02:49,572 --> 00:02:53,052

Убей его! Убей его!

00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:55,591

В «ХИЖИНЕ ЧУДЕС» Я ВИДЕЛА КРУТОГО ЧУВАКА

00:02:57,322 --> 00:02:59,056

А, женщина!

00:03:02,321 --> 00:03:04,012

Ну, ладно, Зус, всё получится!

00:03:04,035 --> 00:03:07,753

Используй свой рот, говори слова

и закрути роман с женщиной!

00:03:09,242 --> 00:03:10,607

У тебя классное лицо!

00:03:10,781 --> 00:03:11,805

А меня зовут Зус.

00:03:17,660 --> 00:03:18,332

Зус?

00:03:18,598 --> 00:03:19,918

Это что такое сейчас было?

00:03:19,941 --> 00:03:21,621

Я пытался флиртовать!

00:03:21,818 --> 00:03:22,816

Но не получилось!

00:03:23,082 --> 00:03:24,938

Кто-то тут сказал слово «флирт»?

00:03:25,134 --> 00:03:28,404

Короче я обещал бабуле найти

девушку к концу недели!

00:03:28,646 --> 00:03:30,732

Но я ни разу в жизни не был на свидании!

00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:33,099

Бумажка «Не работает» должна быть на мне!

00:03:34,326 --> 00:03:38,700

Наконец-то! Моя мечта свести вместе

два любящих сердца сбывается!

00:03:38,958 --> 00:03:41,495

Зус, бесплатный совет: сперва разбогатей!

00:03:41,739 --> 00:03:43,154

Или соври, что уже богат!

00:03:43,543 --> 00:03:45,360

В противном случае шансов у тебя нет.

00:03:45,864 --> 00:03:47,327

Не слушай Стэна, чувак!

00:03:47,421 --> 00:03:49,772

Ты – милый парень с хорошей работой

и старым пикапом.

00:03:49,798 --> 00:03:50,757

Ты бы с ним пошла?

00:03:50,783 --> 00:03:53,405

Ой! Надо же. Ха, смотри-ка.

00:03:53,522 --> 00:03:56,208

Зус, ты нам помогаешь,

пора и нам тебе помочь, друг!

00:03:56,234 --> 00:03:57,480

Устроим тебе свидание!

00:03:57,503 --> 00:04:01,396

Мы пойдём туда, где живет романтика

и умирает хороший вкус!

00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:02,820

В торговый центр!

00:04:04,454 --> 00:04:06,791

Пойду, поищу замену Старикану-старателю.

00:04:06,814 --> 00:04:08,720

Вы пока отвечаете за Зуса.

00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:14,619

Итак, Зус, готов сразить своим

очарованием ничего не подозревающих дам?

00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,580

Но что, если я опять опозорюсь?

00:04:17,606 --> 00:04:19,820

Хуже, чем Диппер, ты не опозоришься.

00:04:19,846 --> 00:04:20,401

Да!

00:04:20,682 --> 00:04:21,717

Стой! Когда?

00:04:22,590 --> 00:04:24,260

И флиртуй!

00:04:26,894 --> 00:04:28,297

Нужен контакт глаз!

00:04:28,323 --> 00:04:30,870

Привет! Ваши глаза меня совсем не пугают!

00:04:30,992 --> 00:04:32,446

Смотрю прямо в них!

00:04:32,975 --> 00:04:34,600

Нужен контакт глаз!

00:04:34,626 --> 00:04:36,021

Нужно общение!

00:04:36,990 --> 00:04:39,153

А знаете, я ведь бывал в теле свиньи!

00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,436

Им очень сложно ходить задом наперед?

00:04:41,906 --> 00:04:44,773

Ну, вы поняли! Нет, это я не про вас!

А куда это вы?

00:04:45,093 --> 00:04:46,171

Уверенность!

00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,136

МОДА ДЛЯ ГОТОВ

00:04:47,611 --> 00:04:50,249

Ну, это я полагаю, вы девушка, да?

00:04:50,569 --> 00:04:51,273

Нет?

00:04:51,798 --> 00:04:53,562

То есть, изначально я был прав?

00:04:54,704 --> 00:04:55,624

Нет?

00:04:57,603 --> 00:05:01,335

Выбрасываю мусор

в мусорный контейнер! Фух!

00:05:02,975 --> 00:05:04,631

Эй! Слышь, нечего так смотреть!

00:05:04,657 --> 00:05:06,124

Всё равно останешься здесь!

00:05:10,756 --> 00:05:11,577

Что ещё?

00:05:18,023 --> 00:05:20,000

Это же кошмар! Средь бела дня!

00:05:20,026 --> 00:05:21,713

И почему детям это так нравится?

00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:25,508

Кто хочет раскошелиться?

00:05:26,665 --> 00:05:28,181

О да, это Вилли Барсук!

00:05:28,207 --> 00:05:30,245

Первый номер на нашем представлении.

00:05:32,168 --> 00:05:34,343

-Это Вилли Барсук!

-Я тебя люблю, Вилл!

00:05:34,829 --> 00:05:37,381

Теперь гоните деньги!

00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:39,184

-Забери мои деньги!

-Забери всё!

00:05:40,918 --> 00:05:42,949

Сэр, хочу купить вашего барсука.

00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,013

Ну, ты загнул, папаша!

00:05:45,036 --> 00:05:47,259

Аниматроника – это для молодых!

00:05:48,298 --> 00:05:50,885

Ты не сможешь управлять

пиццерийными роботами!

00:05:52,472 --> 00:05:53,290

Моргнул!

00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:56,389

Эй, малой! Туда нельзя тошнить!

00:05:56,415 --> 00:05:58,519

Гэри тобой займется.

00:05:58,542 --> 00:06:00,660

Я заполучу этого барсука!

00:06:02,159 --> 00:06:04,417

Не грусти, Зус! Мы найдем девушку!

00:06:04,547 --> 00:06:07,188

Но ты главное не вешай нос!

00:06:08,641 --> 00:06:10,813

Думаю, хуже быть не может!

00:06:11,727 --> 00:06:13,233

О, нет! Кузен Реджи!

00:06:13,259 --> 00:06:14,790

Пощупай бицепс!

00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:18,225

А я совсем не в форме! Нужно спрятаться!

00:06:23,389 --> 00:06:24,532

Это конец, Зус!

00:06:24,555 --> 00:06:26,316

Ты будешь одинок всю жизнь!

00:06:26,535 --> 00:06:28,210

Только вы могли бы меня любить,

00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:30,347

Хрюшка-Боец и Доктор Кулакус!

00:06:32,383 --> 00:06:33,217

АКАДЕМИЯ РОМАНТИКИ

00:06:33,542 --> 00:06:35,081

Такую игру я не видел!

00:06:35,107 --> 00:06:37,399

«Научитесь флиртовать и обольщать»!

00:06:37,422 --> 00:06:39,528

Девять из десяти ботаников рекомендуют!

00:06:39,622 --> 00:06:40,450

Это то, что надо!

00:06:40,476 --> 00:06:43,184

Да, согласен, Зус, ты лучше играешь,

чем флиртуешь.

00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:45,289

Тебе стоит попробовать любые средства!

00:06:45,315 --> 00:06:47,468

Не советую покупать эту игру, сэр!

00:06:47,737 --> 00:06:49,714

Её уже третий раз возвращают!

00:06:49,893 --> 00:06:52,891

И кто-то наклеил стикер

«Уничтожить любым способом».

00:06:52,917 --> 00:06:54,942

Ну, приветик. Чем занимаешься?

00:06:54,965 --> 00:06:56,341

Типа, ой, она дохлая!

00:06:56,364 --> 00:06:57,815

Думаю, мы все же рискнем.

00:07:02,648 --> 00:07:04,401

ЭЛЕКТРОНИКС 2000

ПРЕДСТАВЛЯЕТ

00:07:04,426 --> 00:07:06,664

Не могу дождаться 2000 года!

00:07:06,999 --> 00:07:08,532

АКАДЕМИЯ РОМАНТИКИ 7

00:07:10,024 --> 00:07:10,531

Старт!

00:07:12,258 --> 00:07:15,521

«Когда цветут лепестки вишни

волшебной академии романтики,

00:07:15,544 --> 00:07:17,292

втё водзмозно!»

00:07:17,557 --> 00:07:18,719

Как же это мудро.

00:07:19,471 --> 00:07:20,967

Ой, ха-ха, здравствуй!

00:07:20,993 --> 00:07:21,841

Меня зовут Гиффани.

00:07:21,867 --> 00:07:23,656

Я школьная ученица

в школьном университете.

00:07:23,682 --> 00:07:24,740

Поможешь мне донести портфель?

00:07:24,765 --> 00:07:27,351

1: ДА, КОНЕЧНО. 2: НЕКОГДА ПОШЛИ НА

СВИДАНИЕ. 3: ОТВАЛИ, КАРАКАТИЦА.

00:07:27,437 --> 00:07:29,098

По-моему, подходит номер два!

00:07:29,493 --> 00:07:30,016

Клик!

00:07:30,649 --> 00:07:31,584

Облажался!

00:07:31,856 --> 00:07:33,887

Ничего! Попробуй еще раз.

00:07:36,403 --> 00:07:37,885

Ух ты, а я учусь!

00:07:37,911 --> 00:07:39,858

Учиться во время игры классно!

00:07:39,881 --> 00:07:41,670

О чем бы ты хотел поговорить?

00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:43,837

Лучше кликну тебе по лицу!

00:07:43,862 --> 00:07:45,662

1: ТВОИ ИНТЕРЕСЫ. 2: САМУРАИ.

3: КАРАКАТИЦЫ.

00:07:45,877 --> 00:07:47,613

Ты такой смешной!

00:07:47,639 --> 00:07:49,175

Круть, игра просто потрясная!

00:07:49,201 --> 00:07:50,806

И чего это все её бросали!

00:07:50,829 --> 00:07:53,023

Уверена, ты меня не бросишь,

00:07:53,102 --> 00:07:54,438

мой новый парень.

00:07:54,464 --> 00:07:55,400

Твой парень?

00:07:55,545 --> 00:07:56,841

Хо-хо! Ну, надо же!

00:07:56,864 --> 00:07:58,798

А ты что, типа, почти, как живая!

00:07:58,821 --> 00:08:00,420

Да. Почти.

00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:06,669

Здорово! И у тебя такой классный смех!

00:08:09,687 --> 00:08:11,239

Но ты не понимаешь, Венди!

00:08:11,265 --> 00:08:13,744

Этот робот-барсук и поёт, и танцует!

00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:15,538

Идеальный деньгозарабатыватель!

00:08:15,723 --> 00:08:17,161

Но тот мужик его не продаёт!

00:08:17,187 --> 00:08:19,536

Если честно, я это даже слушать не хочу!

00:08:20,029 --> 00:08:21,433

Ребят, не видели Зуса?

00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,396

Мы собирались помочь ему с девушками.

00:08:23,451 --> 00:08:24,131

Да!

00:08:24,157 --> 00:08:25,712

Я даже надела подбадривающий свитер!

00:08:25,736 --> 00:08:26,554

ТЫ МОЖЕШЬ, ЗУЗ!

00:08:26,555 --> 00:08:28,235

В одной букве ошиблась!

00:08:28,454 --> 00:08:31,610

Нет, я его не видел!

Он впервые в жизни прогулял работу!

00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,234

Ну, вот, собственно, и вся моя жизнь!

00:08:39,424 --> 00:08:41,119

Теперь расскажи о себе что-нибудь!

00:08:41,236 --> 00:08:44,726

Когда ты делаешь мне комплимент,

у меня звёздочки в глазах!

00:08:44,835 --> 00:08:46,032

Ты красивая!

00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:47,927

Многопиксельная!

00:08:48,122 --> 00:08:49,076

Очень милая!

00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:51,982

Да!

00:08:52,008 --> 00:08:53,382

Э, Зус?

00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,120

O, привет, чуваки, заходите!

00:08:55,146 --> 00:08:56,652

Оказалась крутейшая игра!

00:08:56,678 --> 00:08:58,857

Тут есть и контакт глаз,

00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,689

и свиданки, и я не видел

солнечного света 13 часов!

00:09:02,455 --> 00:09:06,367

Зус, может, пора уже пойти

и применить твои знания в реальности.

00:09:06,411 --> 00:09:08,108

А знакомство с её родителями?!

00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:10,783

У неё папаша – человек-осьминог!

00:09:13,221 --> 00:09:14,842

Зус, мы идем в торговый центр!

00:09:14,865 --> 00:09:16,321

Возвращайся в реальность.

00:09:16,596 --> 00:09:18,439

Ну, тогда, пока, Гиффани.

00:09:18,462 --> 00:09:20,402

Но, обещаю тебе, я скоро вернусь.

00:09:20,816 --> 00:09:22,912

Зус, необязательно с ней прощаться!

00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:24,313

Это же всего лишь игра!

00:09:24,336 --> 00:09:26,113

Никуда она отсюда не денется.

00:09:26,378 --> 00:09:30,123

Да, верно: никуда я отсюда не денусь.

00:09:34,883 --> 00:09:35,741

Внучок!

00:09:36,904 --> 00:09:38,823

Ну, значит, почитаем его дневник.

00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,403

Чёрт! Куда подевались все девчонки?

00:09:43,429 --> 00:09:44,927

Проверю в женском туалете!

00:09:45,675 --> 00:09:48,440

Пора любви пришла, девочки! На выход!

00:09:48,466 --> 00:09:50,560

-Хватит уже намывать руки!

-Бежим отсюда!

00:09:50,586 --> 00:09:52,904

Свидания, свидания, свидания!

00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,883

Всё, вот к нам идёт охранник!

Я разберусь!

00:09:54,906 --> 00:09:57,844

Будь здесь и практикуйся

на реальных девушках.

00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:06,643

У этих девушек столько измерений!

И нет всплывающего меню.

00:10:07,163 --> 00:10:08,418

Ах! Сумочка!

00:10:08,716 --> 00:10:09,449

О, нет!

00:10:09,582 --> 00:10:10,985

Отменить! Отменить!

00:10:11,188 --> 00:10:14,065

Ты никогда не сможешь отменить себя!

00:10:18,005 --> 00:10:19,781

О, нет! Кошмар какой-то!

00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,562

-Эх, был бы я сейчас дома с...

-Привет, Зус.

00:10:23,562 --> 00:10:24,124

Гиффани!

00:10:24,150 --> 00:10:26,388

Надо же, как я рад, что ты тоже тут!

00:10:26,414 --> 00:10:28,188

Хотя немного шокирован.

00:10:28,297 --> 00:10:29,219

О, Зус, пойми,

00:10:29,407 --> 00:10:31,646

я не обычная игра!

00:10:31,669 --> 00:10:34,283

Я игра особенная!

00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,800

Программисты пытались меня стереть!

00:10:37,901 --> 00:10:39,826

И тогда я стерла их!

00:10:42,544 --> 00:10:44,138

Чё? Чё ты сделала?

00:10:44,337 --> 00:10:46,155

Это уже не важно!

00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:50,202

Важно, что ты не должен больше

общаться с реальными девушками!

00:10:50,228 --> 00:10:53,832

Мы с тобой будем вместе! Навеки!

00:10:54,590 --> 00:10:55,762

Ого, это здорово!

00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:57,220

Хотя немного пугает!

00:10:57,243 --> 00:10:58,309

Но всё же, здорово!

00:10:58,454 --> 00:10:59,909

Ну, и что мы будем делать?

00:10:59,935 --> 00:11:01,973

Всё, что хочешь ты, Зус.

00:11:02,156 --> 00:11:02,990

ДЕТСКИЙ УГОЛОК

00:11:04,317 --> 00:11:05,245

Чу-чу!

00:11:07,894 --> 00:11:10,738

Пожалуйста, вставьте 50 центов,

чтобы продолжить.

00:11:10,801 --> 00:11:11,759

А у меня нет!

00:11:13,431 --> 00:11:14,790

Ой, извини!

00:11:15,794 --> 00:11:19,398

Здорово, что ты катаешься

на детском паровозике, хотя уже вырос!

00:11:19,421 --> 00:11:21,633

-И тебе плевать, кто что скажет.

-А?

00:11:21,659 --> 00:11:25,109

Ну, да! Я типа «если весело, то вперед»!

00:11:25,265 --> 00:11:26,945

-Понимаешь?

-Вот именно!

00:11:26,971 --> 00:11:28,625

Быть взрослым – хуже всего!

00:11:28,690 --> 00:11:31,059

Жарить мясо, оплачивать свои счета!

00:11:31,142 --> 00:11:33,037

Вот бы весь день кататься на карусели.

00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,817

Но ты же работаешь в «Кафе-гриль»!

00:11:35,089 --> 00:11:37,142

Хорошее мясо – основа будущего!

00:11:37,258 --> 00:11:38,756

Абсолютно согласна!

00:11:38,928 --> 00:11:41,046

-Кстати, меня зовут Мелоди.

-А меня – Зус!

00:11:41,126 --> 00:11:43,160

Кстати, знаешь, если ты любишь роботов,

00:11:43,186 --> 00:11:45,254

то нужно сходить в один клёвый ресторан.

00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:45,907

Ты про...

00:11:45,933 --> 00:11:48,500

Пиццерию

«Веселый переполох у старой Совы»!

00:11:48,632 --> 00:11:50,927

Неужели?! Ты тоже знаешь этот ресторан?

00:11:50,950 --> 00:11:52,644

Я в детстве его просто обожала!

00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:54,562

Ну, конечно! В этом центре он есть!

00:11:54,588 --> 00:11:55,471

Предлагаю сходить.

00:11:55,616 --> 00:11:57,557

Я освобождаюсь в восемь.

00:11:57,583 --> 00:11:58,679

Буду ждать.

00:11:58,702 --> 00:11:59,408

Супер!

00:11:59,705 --> 00:12:00,760

Тогда увидимся.

00:12:08,034 --> 00:12:09,187

Приятная девушка!

00:12:09,269 --> 00:12:11,746

Ну-с, а теперь вернемся

к нашему паровозику!

00:12:13,825 --> 00:12:14,700

Зус!

00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:17,465

Мы всё видели, Зус. Это потрясающе!

00:12:17,491 --> 00:12:19,059

Ты только что общался с девушкой!

00:12:19,085 --> 00:12:20,734

-И позвал её на свидание!

-Серьёзно?

00:12:21,834 --> 00:12:23,762

Это лучший день в моей жизни!

00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:26,082

Ты был спокоен, ты смотрел в глаза,

00:12:26,108 --> 00:12:28,456

ты как будто миллион раз

делал это раньше!

00:12:28,482 --> 00:12:29,402

Ты понимаешь?

00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:30,876

Эта твоя игра помогла!

00:12:30,902 --> 00:12:33,277

И она больше не нужна.

Можешь её выкинуть!

00:12:33,303 --> 00:12:34,239

Выкинуть?!

00:12:34,265 --> 00:12:35,558

Но как же Гиффани?

00:12:35,635 --> 00:12:36,675

Она хорошая!

00:12:36,701 --> 00:12:38,037

Главное: предсказуемая!

00:12:38,063 --> 00:12:40,114

Зус, разве компьютерная игра может

00:12:40,140 --> 00:12:42,190

пойти с тобой на помолвку Реджи?

00:12:44,307 --> 00:12:46,399

Гиффани? Нам нужно поговорить.

00:12:46,482 --> 00:12:49,876

Конечно. Я запрограммирована

интересоваться всем, что ты говоришь.

00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:52,950

Короче тебе приходилось выбирать

одно из двух и ты не знала,

00:12:52,976 --> 00:12:54,513

что из этого лучше?

00:12:54,539 --> 00:12:56,937

Понимаешь? В долгосрочной перспективе!

00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:59,007

Может, мне лучше быть

с кем-то, кто не совсем

00:12:59,272 --> 00:13:01,374

«бип-буп»! Ха! Ну, вот!

00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,429

Ты не понимаешь, что говоришь!

Никто не любит тебя так, как я!

00:13:04,455 --> 00:13:06,447

Реальные девушки

будут над тобой смеяться!

00:13:06,473 --> 00:13:08,050

Ты правда так думаешь?

00:13:08,076 --> 00:13:09,050

Я это знаю!

00:13:09,076 --> 00:13:10,886

И к тому же мы договорились!

00:13:10,950 --> 00:13:13,026

Ты купил игру, поднес портфель,

00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:14,230

ты мой парень!

00:13:14,256 --> 00:13:15,950

Теперь быстро сел на стул!

00:13:16,072 --> 00:13:17,572

Мне не нравится, как ты себя ведешь!

00:13:17,598 --> 00:13:20,421

Я не позволю другой отнять

тебя у меня, Зус!

00:13:20,447 --> 00:13:23,234

-Гиффани, успокойся!

-Ты слышишь?! Ты – мой, Зус! Мой!

00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:24,012

Пауза!

00:13:27,893 --> 00:13:29,567

Фух, вот разоралась!

00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:30,986

Прости меня, Гиффани!

00:13:31,094 --> 00:13:34,008

Демоническая игра с робо-девушкой

была не лучшей идей!

00:13:34,405 --> 00:13:37,391

Лучше верну её в магазин

сразу после свидания с Мелоди.

00:13:47,771 --> 00:13:49,372

Привет, старые друзья!

00:13:49,592 --> 00:13:51,436

В этот раз я буду осторожен!

00:13:51,462 --> 00:13:53,357

Чтобы не вышло, как в тот раз.

00:13:53,506 --> 00:13:56,842

Ну, всё, Стэн, это уже слишком!

Может, поговорим?

00:13:56,868 --> 00:13:59,237

Что бы ты ни сказала, я не передумаю!

00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:02,395

Бывает так что мужику нужно

спереть робота-барсука,

00:14:02,418 --> 00:14:04,615

чтобы остаться на плаву в этой жизни.

00:14:04,641 --> 00:14:06,668

Или можно просто забыть о нём.

00:14:06,694 --> 00:14:07,949

Тут дело принципа!

00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:10,176

Никто не спишет Стэна Пайнса со счетов!

00:14:10,202 --> 00:14:11,627

И никто не посмеет...

00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,202

Я принесу ортопедическую подушку.

00:14:15,228 --> 00:14:16,307

Спасибо.

00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:18,539

Ты с этим справишься, Зус!

00:14:18,562 --> 00:14:20,857

Только помни, чему тебя

учила команда любви!

00:14:21,095 --> 00:14:22,055

Как она выглядит?

00:14:22,157 --> 00:14:22,751

Классно!

00:14:22,837 --> 00:14:24,923

-А всё, что она говорит – это?

-Интересно!

00:14:24,949 --> 00:14:26,636

А кто из вас будет платить за ужин?

00:14:26,662 --> 00:14:28,094

Зус платит!

00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:29,495

Тогда пошёл!

00:14:32,503 --> 00:14:34,313

Как же быстро они вырастают!

00:14:34,938 --> 00:14:37,407

Чешется, как же чеше…

О, привет, Зус!

00:14:37,433 --> 00:14:42,836

Мелоди! Ты уже готова

к свиданию со мной?

00:14:44,776 --> 00:14:46,095

Еще как готова!

00:14:48,532 --> 00:14:50,669

Молодец, чувак. Отлично выступил!

00:14:50,969 --> 00:14:52,449

Жаль, что я не такой как ты!

00:14:57,096 --> 00:15:00,322

Эх, вот бы принесли

бесплатных хлебных палочек.

00:15:01,408 --> 00:15:02,894

Однажды я был так голоден,

00:15:02,917 --> 00:15:05,674

что съел декоративный бамбук

в китайском ресторане!

00:15:06,235 --> 00:15:08,135

Как большая панда!

00:15:10,026 --> 00:15:11,119

Ты такой смешной.

00:15:11,533 --> 00:15:15,274

Ну, это я просто говорю всё,

что приходит мне в голову!

00:15:18,898 --> 00:15:20,098

ТЫ ПОСТАВИЛ МЕНЯ НА ПАУЗУ?

00:15:22,814 --> 00:15:24,612

Эй, Зус, ты в порядке?

00:15:24,635 --> 00:15:26,469

-Всё в полном порядке!

-Ты уверен?

00:15:26,995 --> 00:15:28,473

Ты так сильно поперхнулся.

00:15:29,685 --> 00:15:31,620

Э, никуда не уходи, ладно?

00:15:31,646 --> 00:15:33,538

Мне нужно в туалет очень надолго!

00:15:33,801 --> 00:15:34,967

По серьёзному делу!

00:15:37,076 --> 00:15:38,974

Зус, это что такое ты там вытворял?

00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,455

Есть большая проблема!

Меня преследует Гиффани!

00:15:41,481 --> 00:15:42,160

Гиффани?

00:15:42,186 --> 00:15:44,053

Может, правильно читать Джиффани?

00:15:44,076 --> 00:15:45,252

Этого я так и не понял!

00:15:45,275 --> 00:15:46,649

Зус, возьми себя в руки!

00:15:46,672 --> 00:15:49,312

Она не может тебя преследовать –

она ненастоящая.

00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,185

ЦЕЛЬ – МАЛЕНЬКИЕ ВРАГИ

00:15:53,257 --> 00:15:54,820

ОПРЕДЕЛЕНИЕ СЛАБЫХ СТОРОН

00:15:54,845 --> 00:15:55,436

Ой!

00:15:55,462 --> 00:15:58,892

Я однажды оживил игрового персонажа!

Добром это не кончится.

00:15:58,918 --> 00:16:01,717

Спокойно! Она же заперта

в компьютерном мониторе.

00:16:04,684 --> 00:16:06,473

Мне брошен новый вызов!

00:16:06,577 --> 00:16:08,028

Приготовься быть...

00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:12,091

О, боже!

00:16:12,416 --> 00:16:15,150

Послушай! Мелоди,

давай перенесём свидание в лес –

00:16:15,176 --> 00:16:16,660

подальше от электроники и людей?

00:16:16,686 --> 00:16:18,825

Что? Но сейчас начнется представление!

00:16:27,992 --> 00:16:30,788

Кто хочет послушать веселую сову?

00:16:34,495 --> 00:16:38,147

Привет, друзья! Веселая Сова сдохла!

00:16:39,136 --> 00:16:43,722

А следующая песня

посвящается моему парню, Зусу.

00:16:43,748 --> 00:16:46,419

-Зус, что происходит?

-Нет времени объяснять!

00:16:46,445 --> 00:16:47,564

Нам нужно сматываться!

00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:53,553

Смотаться отсюда можно

только в мои объятия, Зус!

00:16:53,985 --> 00:16:54,845

Взять их!

00:17:01,851 --> 00:17:05,577

Есть! Старьё – в мусор, новьё – в дом!

Я – непобедимый Стэн!

00:17:07,804 --> 00:17:08,968

Что? Что это?

00:17:09,476 --> 00:17:12,381

Кто хочет раскошелиться?

00:17:15,717 --> 00:17:16,849

Прости, Зус!

00:17:17,107 --> 00:17:20,384

Но тебе не сбежать от наших отношений.

00:17:26,574 --> 00:17:27,804

Тут дело вот в чём:

00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:29,425

я купил игру – любовный симулятор,

00:17:29,451 --> 00:17:31,117

она ожила и сошла с ума.

00:17:31,143 --> 00:17:32,439

Да, я схожу с ума!

00:17:32,572 --> 00:17:34,477

Схожу с ума по тебе, Зус.

00:17:37,876 --> 00:17:38,641

О, нет, нет!

00:17:38,872 --> 00:17:40,931

Прости меня, Мелоди! Я всё исправлю!

00:17:41,024 --> 00:17:42,040

Ей нужен я!

00:17:42,288 --> 00:17:44,541

Я её отвлеку,

а Диппер и Мэйбл тебя спасут!

00:17:44,635 --> 00:17:46,040

Другого выхода у нас нет!

00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,561

Зус, они же ещё дети.

00:17:47,689 --> 00:17:49,162

Выхода нет!

00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,547

-Я здесь, Гиффани!

-Стой!

00:17:58,989 --> 00:18:01,048

На счет три разбегаемся! Раз, два...

00:18:04,774 --> 00:18:06,142

Назад, чудовище!

00:18:16,685 --> 00:18:18,837

Да, да! Убей его, старик, давай!

00:18:25,716 --> 00:18:28,142

Я съем твоё лицо как пиццу.

00:18:38,649 --> 00:18:40,557

Ты окружен, Зус!

00:18:41,024 --> 00:18:42,715

Ты никуда не денешься!

00:18:42,738 --> 00:18:44,233

Прошу, отпусти моих друзей.

00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:46,103

Я сделаю всё, что хочешь. Обещаю.

00:18:46,129 --> 00:18:51,361

Насколько я помню, кое-кто уже обещал

мне быть моим парнем!

00:18:51,637 --> 00:18:56,995

Подумай! Реальные девушки непредсказуемы!

Они смотрят свысока!

00:18:57,404 --> 00:19:01,690

Ты правда думаешь, что Мелоди будет

с тобой после этого ужасного свидания?

00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:06,995

Я могу загрузить твой разум ко мне в игру,

00:19:07,112 --> 00:19:10,177

и мы с тобой будем вместе навеки!

00:19:11,988 --> 00:19:14,372

-Не подходи!

-Ну же, Зус!

00:19:14,398 --> 00:19:17,031

Не заставляй меня и тебя стирать!

00:19:17,430 --> 00:19:19,031

Что ты мне скажешь?

00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,198

Я скажу: «Игра окончена, Гиффани!»

00:19:23,755 --> 00:19:24,871

Нет! Стой!

00:19:44,459 --> 00:19:45,436

Ты победил!

00:19:45,462 --> 00:19:47,967

Ты ж мой старый дуралей, ты его победил!

00:19:47,993 --> 00:19:49,959

Может, мы с тобой прошвырнемся в город?

00:19:50,151 --> 00:19:52,823

Два старикана покоряют Лас-Вегас!

00:19:57,517 --> 00:19:58,784

Прости меня за это!

00:19:58,981 --> 00:20:01,611

Честно, когда я был ребенком,

тут было гораздо веселее.

00:20:01,725 --> 00:20:04,060

Честно, у меня бывали свидания и похуже.

00:20:04,216 --> 00:20:04,861

Правда?

00:20:05,027 --> 00:20:07,885

-Не встречайся с фокусником.

-Фу! Зачем мне это?

00:20:08,689 --> 00:20:10,584

О, кстати не хочешь сходить со мной

00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,968

на помолвку моего кузена через неделю?

00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:15,586

Могу пообещать никаких роботов не будет.

00:20:16,314 --> 00:20:17,827

Ладно. Я ещё буду здесь!

00:20:17,892 --> 00:20:19,347

Еще будешь здесь?

00:20:19,378 --> 00:20:21,433

Через пару недель возвращаюсь в Портленд!

00:20:21,459 --> 00:20:23,753

Но можем общаться в сети,

если ты не против.

00:20:23,779 --> 00:20:28,557

Иметь отношения с девушкой, которую я вижу

только в компьютере? Да это же идеально!

00:20:29,947 --> 00:20:32,499

Великий дух любви! Мы справились!

00:20:33,124 --> 00:20:35,178

Да, да! Я очень счастлива!

00:20:35,204 --> 00:20:37,239

Вы что, следили за нами весь день?

00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,770

Жизнь Зуса – это мой личный телесериал.

00:20:40,078 --> 00:20:40,812

Два короля

00:20:42,258 --> 00:20:44,124

Только наличка

00:20:44,150 --> 00:20:45,741

В моей тачке – сестрички

00:20:46,686 --> 00:20:50,673

Гоним по шоссе вовсю

00:20:50,699 --> 00:20:53,574

Я сегодня тусю

00:20:54,309 --> 00:20:56,832

Наша вечеринка улёт

Только наличка

00:20:57,044 --> 00:20:58,668

И это всё не снится

00:20:58,951 --> 00:21:00,976

На старухе я решил жениться

00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:03,734

Отличная идея

00:21:03,849 --> 00:21:05,367

Не тебе меня судить

00:21:05,406 --> 00:21:07,679

Как-то глупо всё вышло! Что?