Диппер становится мужиком

00:00:06,937 --> 00:00:09,111

Do you have anything

that's in the spirit of the season?

00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:11,125

Uh... How about these crystals?

00:00:11,789 --> 00:00:13,630

That looks like broken glass.

00:00:13,682 --> 00:00:14,706

What are you, a cop?

00:00:14,833 --> 00:00:16,336

Oh! What is that new thing?

00:00:17,262 --> 00:00:18,221

Grunkle Stan?

00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:19,693

Can we go to the diner?

00:00:19,756 --> 00:00:22,218

We're hungry!

00:00:22,282 --> 00:00:23,912

Hungry!

00:00:27,749 --> 00:00:30,178

Yeah, sure. Soon as this yahoo

makes up his mind.

00:00:30,242 --> 00:00:32,288

Do you have this in another animal?

00:00:33,023 --> 00:00:34,717

I'm fine locking him inside, if you are.

00:00:38,010 --> 00:00:39,992

Puma shirt, panther shirt.

00:00:40,056 --> 00:00:42,389

Puma shirt, panther shirt.

00:00:42,454 --> 00:00:43,956

Puma shirt...

00:00:45,427 --> 00:00:46,386

Panther shirt!

00:01:30,374 --> 00:01:32,963

Shoo! Git!

00:01:35,265 --> 00:01:37,503

Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee.

00:01:38,174 --> 00:01:40,124

Go! Go! Go! Go!

00:01:46,486 --> 00:01:49,139

Lazy Susan,

there's my little ray of sunshine.

00:01:49,203 --> 00:01:50,706

Where were you yesterday?

00:01:50,833 --> 00:01:52,495

I got hit by a bus.

00:01:53,679 --> 00:01:54,734

Hilarious!

00:01:54,797 --> 00:01:56,067

Thank you!

00:01:59,304 --> 00:02:00,680

You do split plates, right?

00:02:01,095 --> 00:02:04,452

Maybe! Wink!

00:02:04,804 --> 00:02:07,169

Great! We'll all split

a one-fourth of the Number Seven,

00:02:07,329 --> 00:02:10,589

plus a free salad dressing for the lady,

and a small plate of ketchup for the boy.

00:02:10,717 --> 00:02:13,147

But, Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes!

00:02:13,306 --> 00:02:15,576

With the fancy flour

they use these days?

00:02:15,704 --> 00:02:18,070

What am I, made of money? Tap-tap.

00:02:18,134 --> 00:02:19,093

Aw...

00:02:24,101 --> 00:02:25,974

Don't worry, guys, pancakes are on me!

00:02:26,094 --> 00:02:28,267

I'm gonna win some by beating

that manliness tester.

00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:29,866

"Manliness tester?"

00:02:29,930 --> 00:02:30,889

"Beating?"

00:02:33,511 --> 00:02:35,716

He says... He says he's...

00:02:37,251 --> 00:02:38,466

What? What's so funny?

00:02:38,754 --> 00:02:40,320

Oh, no offense, Dipper,

00:02:40,384 --> 00:02:44,135

but you're not exactly

Manly Mannington.

00:02:45,019 --> 00:02:49,270

Hey! I am too Manly Manny...

Or whatever it is you said!

00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,029

Look, face the music, kid.

00:02:51,125 --> 00:02:53,490

You got no muscles,

you smell like baby wipes.

00:02:53,554 --> 00:02:56,592

And let's not forget

last Tuesday's incident.

00:02:56,784 --> 00:03:00,299

Disco girl, coming through

00:03:00,364 --> 00:03:02,442

That girl is you

00:03:02,538 --> 00:03:04,200

Don't come in, don't come in!

00:03:04,264 --> 00:03:07,652

You were listening to girly,

Icelandic pop sensation Babba?

00:03:07,972 --> 00:03:10,434

No!

I wasn't... It's not important!

00:03:10,498 --> 00:03:12,959

Look, come on, guys,

I'm plenty masculine.

00:03:13,023 --> 00:03:14,462

You see this chest hair?

00:03:14,526 --> 00:03:17,307

-Put it away! Put it away!

-So smooth! My eyes!

00:03:17,754 --> 00:03:18,713

Oh, man!

00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:25,234

Fine, family-of-little-faith!

Get ready to eat your words!

00:03:25,299 --> 00:03:27,377

And a plate of delicious pancakes.

00:03:33,067 --> 00:03:36,999

All right, Dipper.

Time to manhandle this man-handle.

00:03:40,547 --> 00:03:43,041

And a one, and a two...

00:03:43,137 --> 00:03:44,415

Quit stalling!

00:03:59,153 --> 00:04:00,144

Aw, what?

00:04:00,208 --> 00:04:01,742

This thing must be broken!

00:04:01,807 --> 00:04:04,492

It's totally broken, guys!

It's like a million years old.

00:04:04,555 --> 00:04:07,209

Probably ran out of steam power, or...

00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:11,333

It's rickety, man. You shouldn't even...

00:04:15,201 --> 00:04:17,566

Yeah! Pancakes for everyone!

00:04:23,769 --> 00:04:25,303

I need to get some chest hair, and fast.

00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,650

I'm fine!

Everything's fine.

00:04:30,162 --> 00:04:32,559

Yeesh! How am I related to that?

00:04:32,623 --> 00:04:36,843

Come on, Grunkle Stan. I'm sure

deep down you have a soft side, too.

00:04:37,003 --> 00:04:40,231

Ha! Nothing in here but a cold,

dark, empty soul.

00:04:41,127 --> 00:04:42,118

Food!

00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,772

Thanks, there, sugar pot.

I mean, honey wasp.

00:04:44,835 --> 00:04:46,498

Kitten baby. Baby, baby cow...

00:04:46,625 --> 00:04:49,375

Silly! Silly man.

00:04:49,694 --> 00:04:50,685

What was that about?

00:04:50,814 --> 00:04:54,138

Nothing. I don't want to talk about it.

Talk about what? Why is this table wet?

00:04:54,202 --> 00:04:55,480

Wait just a second.

00:04:55,801 --> 00:04:58,869

I think I have

an idea happening here. You...

00:04:58,933 --> 00:05:00,275

-No!

-And her...

00:05:00,340 --> 00:05:01,299

-Stop it!

-Oh!

00:05:01,714 --> 00:05:04,528

-Oh, boy.

-You have a thing for Lazy Susan!

00:05:04,591 --> 00:05:06,382

You do have a soft side!

00:05:06,446 --> 00:05:09,930

But... Keep it down, will you?

All right, I admit it, okay?

00:05:10,058 --> 00:05:11,465

It would be nice if she liked me.

00:05:11,529 --> 00:05:13,159

But I've been

out of the game for so long,

00:05:13,222 --> 00:05:14,438

I wouldn't know where to start!

00:05:14,502 --> 00:05:16,643

I mean, look at her! She's so classy.

00:05:16,708 --> 00:05:19,169

Spin, you dumb pies, spin!

00:05:19,681 --> 00:05:23,900

Grunkle Stan, you are

a cranky, gross, weird old man.

00:05:23,964 --> 00:05:26,042

But we will get Lazy Susan to like you

00:05:26,106 --> 00:05:28,408

because nothing is stronger

than the power of...

00:05:28,471 --> 00:05:30,006

-Love?

-Mabel.

00:05:30,837 --> 00:05:32,436

To victory!

00:05:35,888 --> 00:05:39,437

"Not manly enough."

Stupid diner. Stupid lumberjack.

00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:45,575

Another hydrant destroyed!

It's a gosh-danged mystery.

00:05:45,798 --> 00:05:48,100

Wanna take off our uniforms

and run around in circles?

00:05:48,675 --> 00:05:50,050

Quit reading my mind.

00:05:54,142 --> 00:05:57,211

Oh! I'm sorry,

I was looking for the mailman.

00:05:57,467 --> 00:06:00,056

Oh! What, are you saying

I'm not a "male" man?

00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,207

Is that what you're trying to say?

00:06:01,270 --> 00:06:04,372

I'm not male? I'm... I'm not a man?

Is that... Is that what you're getting at?

00:06:04,435 --> 00:06:05,490

Are you crying?

00:06:09,998 --> 00:06:11,884

Two,

00:06:11,948 --> 00:06:13,354

three,

00:06:14,826 --> 00:06:16,583

four...

00:06:19,365 --> 00:06:20,995

No chest hair yet.

00:06:21,059 --> 00:06:23,936

Is it physical? Is it mental?

What's the secret?

00:06:27,005 --> 00:06:29,179

You said it, brother! I need help.

00:06:35,349 --> 00:06:38,289

For the love of all that's holy, run!

00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:50,757

Wait, sorry.

00:06:50,821 --> 00:06:52,271

Aah!

00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:15,852

Please don't eat me!

I haven't showered in, like, a week.

00:07:15,916 --> 00:07:18,729

And I'm... I'm, like, all elbows!

Elbows and gristle!

00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,523

You

00:07:21,287 --> 00:07:22,405

gonna finish that?

00:07:23,417 --> 00:07:24,076

No.

00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:27,713

Can't believe it.

Part animal, part human.

00:07:27,776 --> 00:07:29,151

Are you some kind of minotaur?

00:07:29,214 --> 00:07:32,955

I'm a manotaur! Half man, half, uh...

00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,297

Half taur!

00:07:34,393 --> 00:07:36,472

So did I, like, summon you or...

00:07:36,536 --> 00:07:39,668

The smell of jerky

summoned me! Jerky!

00:07:50,282 --> 00:07:51,776

I smell

00:07:52,935 --> 00:07:55,204

emotional issues.

00:07:55,492 --> 00:07:58,594

I got problems, manotaur.

Man-related problems.

00:08:00,863 --> 00:08:03,836

-Well, my own uncle called me a wimp.

-Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,266

And I kind of flunked

this manliness video game thing.

00:08:06,329 --> 00:08:07,384

Mmm...

00:08:07,576 --> 00:08:09,623

Hey! You know, you seem pretty manly.

00:08:09,686 --> 00:08:11,477

Maybe you could

give me some pointers?

00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:15,632

Hmm. Very well!

Climb atop my back hair, child!

00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,770

Uh... Okay.

00:08:17,934 --> 00:08:19,980

Yes! Yes!

00:08:25,351 --> 00:08:26,533

Dude, watch out!

00:08:32,384 --> 00:08:33,343

Whoa!

00:08:37,658 --> 00:08:39,320

This place is amazing!

00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:41,526

The gnomes live in the trees,

00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:44,340

the mer-people live in the water,

'cause they're losers!

00:08:44,403 --> 00:08:48,176

But we manotaurs

crash in the man cave!

00:08:49,615 --> 00:08:54,218

Beasts! I have brought

you a hairless child!

00:08:54,921 --> 00:08:56,200

-'Sup.

-Huh?

00:08:56,328 --> 00:09:00,292

This is Pubertor, Testosteraur, Pituitor.

00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:02,754

And I'm Chutzpar. And you are?

00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,255

My name's Dipper.

00:09:05,447 --> 00:09:06,657

Weak!

00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:08,859

The, uh, Destructor?

00:09:09,434 --> 00:09:11,256

-Yeah, that's better.

-Yeah.

00:09:13,111 --> 00:09:17,298

Dipper the Destructor wants us to

teach him the secrets to our manliness!

00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:20,432

I need your help.

Look at this, guys. Look at this!

00:09:21,039 --> 00:09:23,436

I must confer with the high council.

00:09:23,628 --> 00:09:25,546

So, teach him our man secrets or what?

00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:27,593

He's a human! I don't like him.

00:09:27,689 --> 00:09:29,223

I don't like your face!

00:09:33,635 --> 00:09:35,424

I like these guys.

00:09:39,229 --> 00:09:43,609

Okay, Grunkle Stan! Welcome to the

first day of whatever is left of your life!

00:09:43,801 --> 00:09:45,910

First, a "before" picture.

00:09:48,180 --> 00:09:50,354

I never miss a scrap-book-or-tunity!

00:09:50,418 --> 00:09:52,399

Diddlydum... Memories

00:09:52,975 --> 00:09:54,893

Bleep. Let's start out

with some role-playing.

00:09:55,117 --> 00:09:56,556

Soos will play Lazy Susan.

00:09:57,035 --> 00:09:58,314

I'm soft, like a woman.

00:09:58,537 --> 00:10:00,999

Grunkle Stan, show me

how you approach a woman.

00:10:01,414 --> 00:10:04,579

Remember, this is a safe,

non-judgmental environment.

00:10:04,643 --> 00:10:07,616

I'll just be right off to the side,

judging you on a scale from one to ten.

00:10:12,508 --> 00:10:13,594

Can I borrow some money?

00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,951

This is going to

be harder than I thought.

00:10:17,143 --> 00:10:19,509

After a lot of punching, we have decided

00:10:19,573 --> 00:10:22,258

to deny your request

to learn our manly secrets.

00:10:22,609 --> 00:10:23,760

Denied!

00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:25,327

Denied?

00:10:26,541 --> 00:10:28,715

Okay. Fine. That's okay with me.

00:10:28,843 --> 00:10:31,177

Obviously you guys think

it would be too hard to train me!

00:10:31,336 --> 00:10:33,894

Maybe you're not man enough to try!

00:10:34,118 --> 00:10:35,301

Huh?

00:10:35,364 --> 00:10:36,867

Not man enough?

00:10:36,995 --> 00:10:38,306

Destructor...

00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:39,872

Not man enough?

00:10:40,064 --> 00:10:41,214

He didn't mean it.

00:10:41,279 --> 00:10:44,859

I have three Y chromosomes,

six Adam's apples,

00:10:44,923 --> 00:10:47,928

pecs on my abs and fists for nipples!

00:10:48,472 --> 00:10:51,349

Seems to me you're scared

to teach me how to be a man.

00:10:51,636 --> 00:10:53,650

Hey, do you guys hear that?

It sounds like...

00:10:54,770 --> 00:10:56,847

Oh, that's weird...

00:10:56,911 --> 00:10:58,381

Is that...

00:10:58,446 --> 00:11:00,491

That sounds like...

Yeah, a bunch of chickens.

00:11:02,793 --> 00:11:03,976

I feel all weird.

00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,789

He's using some sort of brain magic.

00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,379

After a second round of deliberation,

00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:12,000

we have decided

to help you become a man!

00:11:12,224 --> 00:11:14,366

Man! Man! Man! Man! Man!

00:11:14,526 --> 00:11:17,595

Great! Thanks, guys.

Whatever it is, I will not let you down.

00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:22,613

Being a man is about

conquering your fears!

00:11:23,029 --> 00:11:28,528

For your first man-task, you must

plunge your fist into the pain hole!

00:11:29,862 --> 00:11:31,001

The what?

00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:34,026

Pain hole, shmain hole...

00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:42,626

Are you sure this is really necessary?

00:11:42,689 --> 00:11:44,352

You want to be a man, don't you?

00:11:44,544 --> 00:11:47,037

Man! Man! Man! Man! Man! Man!

00:11:52,919 --> 00:11:56,659

All right, let's try to get

that inner beauty on the outside!

00:11:57,139 --> 00:11:58,225

Smile harder.

00:11:59,568 --> 00:12:00,727

Harder.

00:12:01,519 --> 00:12:03,053

Perfect. Soos!

00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:05,163

-'Sup, hambone?

-What do you think?

00:12:10,306 --> 00:12:13,231

This is going to take

some really great training music.

00:12:17,502 --> 00:12:19,228

When a tiger roars

00:12:19,293 --> 00:12:21,722

And the mountain cries

00:12:22,745 --> 00:12:27,029

You gotta dream the dream

You gotta win the prize

00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:31,633

You're gonna go the miles

You're gonna face the trials

00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:36,108

Never miss out on the sights to see

You gotta believe your beliefs are real

00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:38,409

Now you're drinking from a fire hydrant

00:12:38,505 --> 00:12:40,552

Teach your uncle how to wear

a cummerbund

00:12:40,615 --> 00:12:42,821

Now you're gonna jump a crazy gorge

00:12:42,885 --> 00:12:45,123

Keep on shaving that hairy uncle

00:12:45,666 --> 00:12:46,657

Uh...

00:12:46,721 --> 00:12:48,831

I don't really know

what's happening in this part

00:12:49,694 --> 00:12:50,685

Yeow!

00:12:50,749 --> 00:12:55,097

Your heart's on fire

and the fire is in your heart

00:12:57,431 --> 00:12:59,285

Who wants to rub this on my back?

00:12:59,477 --> 00:13:02,450

Guys, I just wanna say

that these last few hours have been...

00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:04,847

I feel like there's

really been some growth.

00:13:05,135 --> 00:13:06,509

I have a growth!

00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:09,962

Glurk, you are hilarious today!

00:13:10,762 --> 00:13:13,031

It's just, you guys

took me under your wing

00:13:13,095 --> 00:13:14,629

and have just been so supportive.

00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:17,123

-Oh, stop.

-No, you know what? You really have been.

00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:19,137

I feel like I'm finally

becoming a man here.

00:13:19,201 --> 00:13:22,333

Not yet, Destructor!

One final task remains...

00:13:22,877 --> 00:13:24,764

-Hey, quit it!

-You quit it!

00:13:24,827 --> 00:13:26,745

The deadliest trial of all!

00:13:26,809 --> 00:13:30,326

I've survived 49 other trials.

Whatever it is, bring it on!

00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:31,604

Yeah!

00:13:41,547 --> 00:13:44,008

Behold our leader, Leaderar!

00:13:46,405 --> 00:13:48,548

Is he, like, the oldest or wisest or...

00:13:48,836 --> 00:13:50,178

Greetings, young...

00:13:51,968 --> 00:13:54,845

Nah, he's just the offering.

That is Leaderar!

00:14:00,503 --> 00:14:03,284

You! You wish to be man?

00:14:05,906 --> 00:14:06,865

Yeah!

00:14:06,993 --> 00:14:10,861

Then you must do heroic act.

Go to highest mountain.

00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:19,972

And bring back head of the Multi-Bear!

00:14:22,338 --> 00:14:24,831

The "Multi-Bear"?

Is that some sort of bear?

00:14:25,119 --> 00:14:26,557

He's our sworn enemy!

00:14:26,749 --> 00:14:30,746

Conquer him, and your mansformation

will be complete.

00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:33,271

Conquer? I don't know, man.

00:14:33,558 --> 00:14:35,700

Destructor, is this yours?

00:14:36,148 --> 00:14:38,162

Uh, no! I don't know whose that is.

00:14:38,354 --> 00:14:40,559

I was just borrowing it.

It's friend's, not mine.

00:14:42,094 --> 00:14:43,213

I don't know about this.

00:14:43,309 --> 00:14:44,268

Uh...

00:14:47,145 --> 00:14:48,263

Hmm.

00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,853

I shall conquer the Multi-Bear!

00:14:55,122 --> 00:14:56,112

I'm okay.

00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:33,338

I'm coming for you, Multi-Bear.

00:15:34,489 --> 00:15:39,540

Okay, Grunkle Stan.

You started like this, but you became...

00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:42,194

Can I scratch myself now?

00:15:42,257 --> 00:15:46,350

No! No, no, no!

Is that throw-up on your shirt?

00:15:46,829 --> 00:15:48,044

I don't know how to answer that.

00:15:49,387 --> 00:15:51,401

Face it, Mabel, your uncle's unfixable.

00:15:51,624 --> 00:15:53,638

Like that spinning

pie trolley-thing in the diner.

00:15:55,461 --> 00:15:57,187

Grunkle Stan, come with me.

00:15:57,602 --> 00:15:59,169

And leave your pants at home!

00:15:59,361 --> 00:16:00,416

With pleasure!

00:16:05,115 --> 00:16:06,937

What is a Multi-Bear?

00:16:12,563 --> 00:16:14,002

Oh, that's a Multi-Bear.

00:16:16,144 --> 00:16:18,413

Bear heads. Silence!

00:16:20,268 --> 00:16:22,793

Child, why have you come here?

00:16:23,081 --> 00:16:26,725

Multi-Bear, I seek your head!

Or one of them, anyway.

00:16:26,790 --> 00:16:28,132

There's like, what, six? Six heads?

00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:31,456

This is foolish! Leave now or die!

00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:34,142

So be it!

00:16:49,966 --> 00:16:51,500

Ha!

00:17:03,392 --> 00:17:05,502

A real man shows no mercy!

00:17:07,101 --> 00:17:08,539

Very well, warrior.

00:17:08,891 --> 00:17:11,928

But will you grant a magical beast

one last request?

00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,558

Uh... Okay.

00:17:13,878 --> 00:17:17,107

I wish to die

listening to my favorite song.

00:17:19,057 --> 00:17:21,167

Tape is already in there.

You could just hit any...

00:17:21,326 --> 00:17:22,669

Yeah, yeah, that's it. Press and hold.

00:17:22,733 --> 00:17:26,730

Disco girl coming through

That girl is you...

00:17:27,017 --> 00:17:30,693

You listen to Icelandic pop group

Babba? I love Babba.

00:17:30,853 --> 00:17:32,867

I thought I was the only one.

00:17:33,027 --> 00:17:34,529

All the manotaurs make fun of me

00:17:34,594 --> 00:17:37,598

because I know all the words

to the song Disco Girl.

00:17:37,663 --> 00:17:38,622

Oh, you mean...

00:17:38,685 --> 00:17:40,252

Disco girl

00:17:40,507 --> 00:17:42,298

Coming through

00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,599

That girl is you

00:17:44,791 --> 00:17:47,157

Ooh ooh

00:17:48,404 --> 00:17:51,632

Oh! This is crazy. Finally, someone

who understands...

00:17:52,048 --> 00:17:53,103

Oh, yeah.

00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:56,300

I guess I'm supposed to kill you?

Or I'll never be a man?

00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:57,866

I accept my fate.

00:17:58,090 --> 00:17:59,752

No. Really?

00:17:59,848 --> 00:18:01,031

It's for the best.

00:18:06,466 --> 00:18:07,489

I'm not gonna do it!

00:18:07,585 --> 00:18:11,005

You were told the price of manhood

is the Multi-Bear's head!

00:18:11,453 --> 00:18:15,065

Listen, Leaderar, all right?

You, too, Testosteraur, Pituitor, and...

00:18:15,257 --> 00:18:17,271

I don't know, whatever your name is,

Beardy.

00:18:17,334 --> 00:18:18,293

It's Beardy.

00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:21,235

You keep telling me that being a man

means doing all these tasks,

00:18:21,299 --> 00:18:23,025

and being aggro all the time.

00:18:23,441 --> 00:18:25,582

But I'm starting to think

that stuff's malarkey!

00:18:27,245 --> 00:18:28,843

You heard me! Malarkey!

00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:31,592

So maybe I don't have muscles,

or hair in certain places.

00:18:31,657 --> 00:18:35,109

And sure, when a girly pop song comes

on the radio sometimes I leave it on.

00:18:35,268 --> 00:18:37,091

'Cause dang it, Top 40 hits

00:18:37,155 --> 00:18:39,776

are in the Top 40 for a reason!

They're catchy!

00:18:39,936 --> 00:18:41,950

Destructor! What are you saying?

00:18:42,014 --> 00:18:44,379

I'm saying the Multi-Bear

is a really nice guy.

00:18:44,444 --> 00:18:46,553

And you're a bunch of jerks

if you want me to cut off his head!

00:18:49,974 --> 00:18:53,363

Kill the Multi-Bear or never be a man!

00:18:54,257 --> 00:18:55,696

Then I guess I will never be a man.

00:18:57,263 --> 00:18:58,254

Weak!

00:19:00,683 --> 00:19:01,962

Lame!

00:19:02,378 --> 00:19:05,319

Hey, guys. Who wants to go

build something and knock it down?

00:19:06,470 --> 00:19:10,913

Man! Man! Man! Man!

Man! Man! Man! Man!

00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,389

Spin, spin.

00:19:17,626 --> 00:19:20,504

Lazy Susan. Listen,

I know he's not much to look at,

00:19:20,631 --> 00:19:22,326

but you're always

fixing stuff in the diner.

00:19:22,613 --> 00:19:23,892

And if you like fixing stuff,

00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:26,610

nothing could use more fixing

than my Grunkle Stan.

00:19:26,706 --> 00:19:28,879

Also, women live longer than men,

so your dating pool is smaller,

00:19:28,943 --> 00:19:30,413

and you should really

lower your standards.

00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:33,323

So, Lazy Susan.

What do you say?

00:19:38,821 --> 00:19:41,379

Hey. Here's my number.

00:19:41,698 --> 00:19:43,712

Why don't you

give me a call sometime?

00:19:44,256 --> 00:19:46,654

-Really?

-Really!

00:19:47,069 --> 00:19:51,737

Also, here's some pie.

On the house. For you.

00:19:53,751 --> 00:19:56,883

We did it! When are you going to call?

You want to call now?

00:19:56,947 --> 00:19:58,801

I don't have a phone. Let's buy a phone.

00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,975

We can put it on a credit card.

Let's get a credit card.

00:20:01,039 --> 00:20:03,053

Mabel! Let a man enjoy his pie, huh?

00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:09,542

Dipper! It's me, Mabel!

I'm looking at you through the glass!

00:20:09,606 --> 00:20:13,443

Right here. This is my voice!

I'm talking to you from inside!

00:20:15,073 --> 00:20:16,607

-Did you see me through the...

-Yes.

00:20:16,672 --> 00:20:17,662

What's wrong?

00:20:17,823 --> 00:20:19,420

-I don't want to talk about it.

-Good.

00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:21,659

It's just these half-man,

half-bull humanoids

00:20:21,722 --> 00:20:23,417

-were hanging out with me...

-Here we go.

00:20:23,481 --> 00:20:26,454

But then they wanted me to do

this really tough, horrible thing,

00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,756

but it just wasn't right. So I said no.

00:20:28,947 --> 00:20:31,057

You were your own man

and you stood up for yourself.

00:20:31,537 --> 00:20:33,199

-Huh?

-You did what was right,

00:20:33,263 --> 00:20:34,477

even though no one agreed with you.

00:20:34,669 --> 00:20:37,003

Sounds pretty manly to me.

But what do I know?

00:20:38,058 --> 00:20:41,031

Wait a minute.

Do my eyes deceive me?

00:20:41,319 --> 00:20:42,725

You have a chest hair!

00:20:44,164 --> 00:20:45,314

You're right! I do!

00:20:45,379 --> 00:20:48,287

This is amazing! I really do!

00:20:48,383 --> 00:20:50,973

Take that, man tester!

Take that, Pituitor!

00:20:51,101 --> 00:20:53,946

-Pituitor?

-This guy has chest hair!

00:20:55,449 --> 00:20:57,175

Scrap-book-or-tunity!

00:20:58,965 --> 00:21:00,819

Don't worry, kid.

If you're anything like me,

00:21:00,883 --> 00:21:02,194

there's more where that came from.

00:21:02,993 --> 00:21:04,624

Oh, gross!

00:21:08,172 --> 00:21:09,578

Seriously, that's disgusting.

00:21:11,017 --> 00:21:12,200

Oh, not again!

00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:15,557

Message number 36.

00:21:15,812 --> 00:21:19,648

Hey, handsome.

It's me Lazy Susan, calling to say hi.

00:21:19,808 --> 00:21:23,900

Hi! My cats also wanted to say hi.

00:21:23,964 --> 00:21:25,850

Say hi, Donald.

00:21:25,946 --> 00:21:28,344

Good. Sandy, you say hi.

00:21:28,408 --> 00:21:30,933

Mr. Catface, now it's your turn to say...

00:21:30,997 --> 00:21:32,691

Mr. Catface!

00:21:32,755 --> 00:21:35,345

Anyway, call me! Call me back!

00:21:35,441 --> 00:21:36,783

How do I get out of this?

00:00:06,937 --> 00:00:09,111

Скажите, у вас есть что-нибудь

рождественское?

00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:11,125

Вот эти кристаллы.

00:00:11,789 --> 00:00:13,630

На вид как разбитое стекло.

00:00:13,682 --> 00:00:14,706

Вы что, коп?

00:00:14,833 --> 00:00:16,336

Oй! А это что такое?

00:00:17,262 --> 00:00:18,221

Дядя Стэн.

00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:19,693

Давай сходим в кафешку?

00:00:19,756 --> 00:00:22,218

Мы проголодались.

00:00:22,282 --> 00:00:23,912

Очень сильно.

00:00:27,749 --> 00:00:30,178

Хорошо.

Как только болван что-нибудь купит.

00:00:30,242 --> 00:00:32,288

А у вас есть такая же, но без рыбы?

00:00:33,023 --> 00:00:34,717

Я предлагаю запереть его тут.

00:00:35,947 --> 00:00:36,747

ЗАКРЫТО

00:00:38,010 --> 00:00:39,992

Майка с пумой, майка с пантерой.

00:00:40,056 --> 00:00:42,389

Майка с пумой, майка с пантерой.

00:00:42,454 --> 00:00:43,956

Майка с пумой!

00:00:45,427 --> 00:00:46,386

С пантерой.

00:01:02,984 --> 00:01:05,484

ДИППЕР

00:01:07,350 --> 00:01:08,650

МЭЙБЛ

00:01:09,855 --> 00:01:11,155

СТЭН

00:01:21,391 --> 00:01:23,091

ГРАВИТИ ФОЛЗ

00:01:25,331 --> 00:01:28,164

КАФЕШКА

У НАС ЕСТЬ ЕДА

00:01:30,374 --> 00:01:32,963

Уходи! Убирайся!

00:01:35,265 --> 00:01:37,503

Кофе! Кофе! Кофе! Кофе!

00:01:38,174 --> 00:01:40,124

Давай! Давай! Давай! Давай!

00:01:46,486 --> 00:01:49,139

Ленивая Сьюзан, ты ж моя красавица!

00:01:49,203 --> 00:01:50,706

Почему вчера тебя не было?

00:01:50,833 --> 00:01:52,495

Вчера меня сбил автобус!

00:01:53,679 --> 00:01:54,734

Насмешила!

00:01:54,797 --> 00:01:56,067

Спасибо!

00:01:59,304 --> 00:02:00,680

Вы порции делите, да?

00:02:01,095 --> 00:02:04,452

Может быть. Подмигнула.

00:02:04,804 --> 00:02:07,169

Отлично! Нам всем по

четвертинке номера семь,

00:02:07,329 --> 00:02:10,589

девчонке притащи бесплатный соус,

а парню – немного кетчупа.

00:02:10,717 --> 00:02:13,147

Но, дядя Стэн, я хотела взять блинчики.

00:02:13,306 --> 00:02:15,576

Блинчики из этой дорогущей муки?!

00:02:15,704 --> 00:02:18,070

Я деньги не печатаю. Лезь назад.

00:02:20,486 --> 00:02:22,286

ВЫИГРАЙ БЕСПЛАТНЫЕ БЛИНЧИКИ

00:02:24,101 --> 00:02:25,974

Спокойно! Блинчики я добуду.

00:02:26,094 --> 00:02:28,267

Я побью рекорд силы,

и блинчики будут наши.

00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:29,866

Ты побьешь рекорд?

00:02:29,930 --> 00:02:30,889

Силы?

00:02:33,511 --> 00:02:35,716

Он сказал, что...

00:02:37,251 --> 00:02:38,466

Что? Что смешного?

00:02:38,754 --> 00:02:40,320

Только не обижайся, Диппер,

00:02:40,384 --> 00:02:44,135

но ты не очень-то силен

для побития рекорда!

00:02:45,019 --> 00:02:49,270

Эй! Я, между прочим, силен,

как бык или как минотавр!

00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:51,029

Ты уж извини за прямоту:

00:02:51,125 --> 00:02:53,490

у тебя нет бицепсов,

и ты ещё пахнешь молоком.

00:02:53,554 --> 00:02:56,592

А ты помнишь, что было во вторник?

Я помню!

00:02:56,784 --> 00:03:00,299

Девочка, будь со мной

00:03:00,364 --> 00:03:02,442

Потанцуй со мной

00:03:02,538 --> 00:03:04,200

Не входить, не входить!

00:03:04,264 --> 00:03:07,652

Ты подпевал какому-то дурацкому

попсовому бойз-бэнду?!

00:03:07,972 --> 00:03:10,434

Что ты... не правда! И это не важно!

00:03:10,498 --> 00:03:12,959

Главное у меня достаточно бицепсов

00:03:13,023 --> 00:03:14,462

и ещё волосатая грудь!

00:03:14,526 --> 00:03:17,307

-Закрой, закрой!

-Боже мой, какая гладкая!

00:03:17,754 --> 00:03:18,713

О, нет.

00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:25,234

Ладно, любезные родственники!

Вы поперхнётесь своим смехом!

00:03:25,299 --> 00:03:27,377

И этими вкусными блинчиками!

00:03:33,067 --> 00:03:36,999

Ладно, Диппер! Пора показать этой штуке

сильную мужскую руку.

00:03:39,544 --> 00:03:40,522

ДОКАЖИ СВОЮ МУЖЕСТВЕННОСТЬ

00:03:40,547 --> 00:03:43,041

И раз и два.

00:03:43,137 --> 00:03:44,415

Не тяни время!

00:03:46,749 --> 00:03:47,549

СЛАБАК

00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:49,512

СТАРУШКА

00:03:49,532 --> 00:03:50,065

СЕРЕДНЯК

00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:50,664

МУЖИК

00:03:54,138 --> 00:03:55,238

СЛАБАК

00:03:57,082 --> 00:03:59,115

МАСИПУСЕЧКА

00:03:59,153 --> 00:04:00,144

Чего?!

00:04:00,208 --> 00:04:01,742

Эта штука просто сломана.

00:04:01,807 --> 00:04:04,492

Она не работает. Ей же сто лет в обед.

00:04:04,555 --> 00:04:07,209

Наверное, шестеренки треснули.

00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:11,333

Она сломана. Даже не пыта...

00:04:15,201 --> 00:04:17,566

Да! Угощайтесь блинчиками!

00:04:23,769 --> 00:04:25,303

Отрастить волосы на груди!

00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,650

Не больно! Ха-ха. Совсем не больно.

00:04:30,162 --> 00:04:32,559

Боже! Мой внучатый племянник!

00:04:32,623 --> 00:04:36,843

Да ладно, Дядя Стэн! Ты ведь тоже

мягкий и ранимый в глубине души.

00:04:37,003 --> 00:04:40,231

Ха! Ещё чего! Я холодный, мрачный и злой.

00:04:41,127 --> 00:04:42,118

Кушайте!

00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,772

Спасибо, лапочка!

То есть, обычная труженица

00:04:44,835 --> 00:04:46,498

общепита и красавица.

00:04:46,625 --> 00:04:49,375

Дурень! Старый дурень.

00:04:49,694 --> 00:04:50,685

И что это было?

00:04:50,814 --> 00:04:54,138

Ничего! Не хочу об этом говорить!

Кстати, почему столик не вытерли?

00:04:54,202 --> 00:04:55,480

Погоди-ка, дядя Стэн!

00:04:55,801 --> 00:04:58,869

По-моему, я поняла,

что здесь происходит! Ты...

00:04:58,933 --> 00:05:00,275

-Нет!

-...и она.

00:05:00,340 --> 00:05:01,299

Прекрати!

00:05:01,714 --> 00:05:04,528

-Проклятье.

-Ты втюрился в Ленивую Сьюзан!

00:05:04,591 --> 00:05:06,382

Выходит, ты и правда ранимый!

00:05:06,446 --> 00:05:09,930

Только никому ни слова, ясно?

Да, да, признаю!

00:05:10,058 --> 00:05:11,465

Я бы хотел ей понравиться.

00:05:11,529 --> 00:05:13,159

Но я давно ни за кем не ухаживал

00:05:13,222 --> 00:05:14,438

и всё забыл!

00:05:14,502 --> 00:05:16,643

Посмотри на неё! Такая красавица.

00:05:16,708 --> 00:05:19,169

Крутитесь, чертовы пироги! Крутитесь!

00:05:19,681 --> 00:05:23,900

Дядя Стэн, ты старый, жадный,

сумасшедший человек,

00:05:23,964 --> 00:05:26,042

но Ленивая Сьюзан в тебя влюбится,

00:05:26,106 --> 00:05:28,408

потому что нет в мире силы сильнее, чем...

00:05:28,471 --> 00:05:30,006

-Любовь?

-Мэйбл!

00:05:30,837 --> 00:05:32,436

За нашу победу!

00:05:35,888 --> 00:05:39,437

Недостаточно силен! Дурацкая кафешка!

Дурацкий дровосек!

00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:45,575

Еще один гидрант сломался!

Просто какая-то загадка!

00:05:45,798 --> 00:05:48,100

Предлагаю снять форму

и побегать по кругу.

00:05:48,675 --> 00:05:50,050

Опять читаешь мои мысли?

00:05:54,142 --> 00:05:57,211

О, извини, малыш,

а где магазин женской одежды?

00:05:57,467 --> 00:06:00,056

По-вашему, я должен это знать?!

00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,207

Почему вы решили?

00:06:01,270 --> 00:06:04,372

Потому что я не мужик? Потому что

не достаточно силен? На это намекаете?

00:06:04,435 --> 00:06:05,490

Ты плачешь?

00:06:09,998 --> 00:06:11,884

Два.

00:06:11,948 --> 00:06:13,354

Три.

00:06:14,826 --> 00:06:16,583

Четыре.

00:06:19,365 --> 00:06:20,995

Ни одного волоска!

00:06:21,059 --> 00:06:23,936

Дело в физиологии, психологии,

в чём здесь секрет?

00:06:25,293 --> 00:06:26,980

«Нужна помощь? Съешь чипсы с беконом»

00:06:27,005 --> 00:06:29,179

Да, ты прав, мужик. Помощь нужна.

00:06:35,349 --> 00:06:38,289

Ради всего святого, малыш, беги!!!

00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:50,757

Стоп. Извини.

00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:15,852

Не ешь меня! Я неделю не мылся!

00:07:15,916 --> 00:07:18,729

И я тощий! У меня только

кожа да кости, кости и сухожилия!

00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,523

Ты!

00:07:21,287 --> 00:07:22,405

Доедать будешь?

00:07:23,417 --> 00:07:24,076

Нет.

00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:27,713

Поверить не могу. Человек пополам с быком!

00:07:27,776 --> 00:07:29,151

Ты что, какой-то минотавр?

00:07:29,214 --> 00:07:32,955

Я мужикотавр! Полумужик, полу...

00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,297

...полутавр!

00:07:34,393 --> 00:07:36,472

И что я как-то вызвал тебя или...

00:07:36,536 --> 00:07:39,668

Меня привлек запах чипсов! Бекон!

00:07:50,282 --> 00:07:51,776

Чувствую

00:07:52,935 --> 00:07:55,204

эмоциональные проблемы.

00:07:55,492 --> 00:07:58,594

Это верно, мужикотавр!

У меня мужские проблемы!

00:08:00,863 --> 00:08:03,836

-Моя семья считает меня слабаком…

-Угу-угу.

00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,266

И я проиграл в эту дурацкую игру

на проверку силы.

00:08:07,576 --> 00:08:09,623

Слушай, ты ведь такой мужественный!

00:08:09,686 --> 00:08:11,477

Может, научишь как стать таким же?

00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:15,632

Хорошо!

Залезай ко мне на спину, малыш.

00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,770

Ну, ладно.

00:08:17,934 --> 00:08:19,980

Да! Да!

00:08:25,351 --> 00:08:26,533

Осторожно, пропасть!

00:08:32,384 --> 00:08:33,343

Ух ты!

00:08:37,658 --> 00:08:39,320

Потрясающее место!

00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:41,526

Гномы живут среди деревьев,

00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:44,340

водяные живут в воде, неудачники!

00:08:44,403 --> 00:08:48,176

А мужикотавры обитают в горных пещерах!

00:08:49,615 --> 00:08:54,218

Мужики! Я привел сюда пацана без шерсти!

00:08:54,921 --> 00:08:56,200

-Привет.

-А?

00:08:56,328 --> 00:09:00,292

Это Пубертор, Тестостерор, Гипофизор,

00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:02,754

а я Ограмен! Как тебя зовут?

00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,255

Меня зовут Диппер.

00:09:05,447 --> 00:09:06,657

Слабак!

00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:08,859

Диппер... Разрушитель?

00:09:09,434 --> 00:09:11,256

-Немного получше.

-Да, вот это уже другое дело.

00:09:13,111 --> 00:09:17,298

Диппер-Разрушитель просит обучить его

секретам нашей мужской силы!

00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:20,432

Помогите! Вы посмотрите! Это же кошмар!

00:09:21,039 --> 00:09:23,436

Нужно согласовать с высшим советом!

00:09:23,628 --> 00:09:25,546

Ну, будем его учить или как?

00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:27,593

Он – человек! Мне не нравится.

00:09:27,689 --> 00:09:29,223

А мне ты не нравишься!

00:09:33,635 --> 00:09:35,424

Они мне нравятся.

00:09:39,229 --> 00:09:43,609

Итак, Дядя Стэн! Вот и настал последний

день твоей прежней несчастной жизни!

00:09:43,801 --> 00:09:45,910

Сделаем снимок на память.

00:09:48,180 --> 00:09:50,354

Положим в мой альбом памятных событий!

00:09:50,418 --> 00:09:52,399

Пам-папам, памятные события!

00:09:52,975 --> 00:09:54,893

Плим! Начнем с ролевой игры!

00:09:55,117 --> 00:09:56,556

Зус сыграет Ленивую Сьюзан.

00:09:57,035 --> 00:09:58,314

Я мягкий, как женщина.

00:09:58,537 --> 00:10:00,999

Дядя Стэн, покажи,

как ты подходишь к женщине!

00:10:01,414 --> 00:10:04,579

Главное помни, что здесь тебя

никто не будет критиковать!

00:10:04,643 --> 00:10:07,616

А я, как жюри, оценю тебя по шкале

от одного до десяти.

00:10:12,508 --> 00:10:13,594

Доллар не одолжишь?

00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,951

Будет сложнее, чем я думала.

00:10:17,143 --> 00:10:19,509

После долгих дебатов мы решили,

00:10:19,573 --> 00:10:22,258

что не будем обучать тебя

нашим секретам, пацан.

00:10:22,609 --> 00:10:23,760

Не будем!

00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:25,327

Не будете?!

00:10:26,541 --> 00:10:28,715

Ладно плевать! Всё понятно!

00:10:28,843 --> 00:10:31,177

Думаете, что меня будет

сложно тренировать?

00:10:31,336 --> 00:10:33,894

А может вы просто боитесь попробовать?

00:10:35,364 --> 00:10:36,867

Боимся попробовать?!

00:10:36,995 --> 00:10:38,306

Разрушитель!

00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:39,872

Боимся попробовать?

00:10:40,064 --> 00:10:41,214

Ляпнул, не подумав!

00:10:41,279 --> 00:10:44,859

У меня три игрек хромосомы,

шесть кадыков,

00:10:44,923 --> 00:10:47,928

квадраты на прессе и кулаки на сосках!

00:10:48,472 --> 00:10:51,349

И при всём при этом ты боишься

научить меня быть мужиком!

00:10:51,636 --> 00:10:53,650

Эй, вы слышите эти звуки?

00:10:54,770 --> 00:10:56,847

Как это странно.

00:10:56,911 --> 00:10:58,381

Это...

00:10:58,446 --> 00:11:00,491

как будто целая толпа цыплят!

00:11:02,793 --> 00:11:03,976

Странно все это.

00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,789

Этот парень использует промывку мозгов!

00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,379

После второго раунда дебатов

00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:12,000

мы все-таки решили сделать тебя мужиком!

00:11:12,224 --> 00:11:14,366

Мужик! Мужик! Мужик! Мужик!

00:11:14,526 --> 00:11:17,595

Класс! Спасибо вам, ребята.

Поверьте, я вас не подведу.

00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:22,613

Мужик должен уметь побеждать свой страх.

00:11:23,029 --> 00:11:28,528

Твое первое испытание:

нужно засунуть кулак в отверстие боли!

00:11:29,862 --> 00:11:31,001

Куда?

00:11:31,095 --> 00:11:32,428

ОТВЕРСТИЕ БОЛИ

00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:34,026

В отверстие боли.

00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:42,626

А это точно необходимо?

00:11:42,689 --> 00:11:44,352

Ну, ты же хочешь стать мужиком?

00:11:44,544 --> 00:11:47,037

Мужик! Мужик! Мужик! Мужик! Мужик! Мужик!

00:11:52,919 --> 00:11:56,659

Ладно! Теперь мы будем вытаскивать

на свет твою внутреннюю красоту!

00:11:57,139 --> 00:11:58,225

Улыбнись пошире.

00:11:59,568 --> 00:12:00,727

Шире!

00:12:01,519 --> 00:12:03,053

Отлично! Зус!

00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:05,163

-Чего, красотка?

-Что скажешь?

00:12:10,206 --> 00:12:13,131

Тут нужна очень мощная

мотивирующая музыка.

00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,674

ТРЕНИРОВОЧНЫЙ СБОРНИК

00:12:15,057 --> 00:12:15,590

ВКЛЮЧИТЬ

00:12:17,502 --> 00:12:19,228

Пусть не верят в тебя

00:12:19,293 --> 00:12:21,722

И забыли давно

00:12:22,745 --> 00:12:27,029

Но ты храни мечту

И побеждай всё равно

00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:31,633

Трудностей не страшись

И до конца борись

00:12:32,028 --> 00:12:32,515

НЕ ЧЕШИСЬ

00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:35,608

И то, во что веришь, не теряй

Борись и действуй, и мечтай

00:12:35,613 --> 00:12:36,435

ЧЕСТЬ

СЛАВА

00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:38,409

И научись из гидранта пить

00:12:38,505 --> 00:12:40,552

И дядю научи смокинг носить

00:12:40,615 --> 00:12:42,821

А теперь прыгай со скалы

00:12:42,885 --> 00:12:45,123

И сбрей всё подчистую, малыш

00:12:45,666 --> 00:12:46,657

Эй

00:12:46,721 --> 00:12:48,831

А тут я уже и не знаю, что творится

00:12:50,749 --> 00:12:55,097

Продолжай действовать и стремиться

00:12:57,431 --> 00:12:59,285

Ну, кто натрет мне спину?

00:12:59,477 --> 00:13:02,450

Хочу сказать, что эти последние

пара часов были, ну,

00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:04,847

понимаешь, я реально почувствовал рост.

00:13:05,135 --> 00:13:06,509

У меня шишка выросла!

00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:09,962

Глёрк, ну, ты сегодня в ударе, дружище!

00:13:10,762 --> 00:13:13,031

Парни, спасибо, что взяли меня под крыло

00:13:13,095 --> 00:13:14,629

и так помогли.

00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:17,123

-Перестань.

-Нет, правда. Очень помогли.

00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:19,137

Я чувствую, что становлюсь мужчиной.

00:13:19,201 --> 00:13:22,333

Еще нет, Разрушитель!

Одно последнее задание.

00:13:22,877 --> 00:13:24,764

-Эй, ты, кончай!

-Сам кончай!

00:13:24,827 --> 00:13:26,745

Самое опасное из всех.

00:13:26,809 --> 00:13:30,326

Я 49 заданий выполнил.

Выполню ещё одно!

00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:31,604

Да!

00:13:37,598 --> 00:13:38,498

КРУТОЙ ЧУВАК

00:13:41,547 --> 00:13:44,008

Узри нашего вождя Вождерора!

00:13:46,405 --> 00:13:48,548

Он самый старый или самый мудрый?

00:13:48,836 --> 00:13:50,178

Приветствую, юный...

00:13:51,968 --> 00:13:54,845

Нет, это его завтрак! Вот это Вождерор.

00:14:00,503 --> 00:14:03,284

Ты! Ты хочешь быть мужиком?

00:14:05,906 --> 00:14:06,865

Да!

00:14:06,993 --> 00:14:10,861

Тогда соверши геройство!

Иди на высокую гору.

00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:19,972

И принеси мне голову мульти-медведя.

00:14:22,338 --> 00:14:24,831

Мульти-медведя? Это типа медведя?

00:14:25,119 --> 00:14:26,557

Он наш заклятый враг!

00:14:26,749 --> 00:14:30,746

Победи его и сможешь считать себя

полноценным мужиком!

00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:33,271

Победить? Ну, я, правда, не знаю.

00:14:33,558 --> 00:14:35,500

Разрушитель! Это твоё?

00:14:35,502 --> 00:14:36,123

БАББА

00:14:36,148 --> 00:14:38,162

Нет. Ха-ха! Я не знаю, чьё это.

00:14:38,354 --> 00:14:40,559

Так, взял послушать у друга, не моё.

00:14:42,094 --> 00:14:43,213

Подозрительно.

00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,853

Я пойду и одолею мульти-медведя!

00:14:55,122 --> 00:14:56,112

Не больно!

00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:33,338

Я иду за тобой, мульти-медведь.

00:15:34,489 --> 00:15:39,540

Ну, ладно, Дядя Стэн!

Вот каким ты был и вот каким ты стал!

00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:42,194

Мне уже можно почесаться?

00:15:42,257 --> 00:15:46,350

Нет! Нет, нет и нет!

Тебя что, вырвало на майку?

00:15:46,829 --> 00:15:48,044

Не знаю, что сказать.

00:15:49,387 --> 00:15:51,401

Смирись, Мэйбл, твой дядя неисправим!

00:15:51,624 --> 00:15:53,638

Так же, как вертушка с пирогами в кафешке.

00:15:55,461 --> 00:15:57,187

Дядя Стэн, иди за мной!

00:15:57,602 --> 00:15:59,169

Можешь не надевать смокинг.

00:15:59,361 --> 00:16:00,416

С удовольствием!

00:16:05,115 --> 00:16:06,937

Да что это за зверь такой?!

00:16:12,563 --> 00:16:14,002

А, теперь понятно.

00:16:16,144 --> 00:16:18,413

Головы молчать!

00:16:20,268 --> 00:16:22,793

Дитя, зачем ты пришел сюда?

00:16:23,081 --> 00:16:26,725

Я пришел чтобы отрубить тебе голову!

Одну из них,

00:16:26,790 --> 00:16:28,132

у тебя же их целых шесть, правильно?

00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:31,456

Какая глупость! Дитя, уходи или умрешь!

00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:34,142

Пусть будет так.

00:17:03,392 --> 00:17:05,502

Настоящий мужик не знает жалости!

00:17:07,101 --> 00:17:08,539

Ты одолел меня, воин!

00:17:08,891 --> 00:17:11,928

Исполни последнее желание

волшебного зверя.

00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,558

Ну, ладно.

00:17:13,878 --> 00:17:17,107

Я хочу умереть под мою любимую песню!

00:17:19,057 --> 00:17:21,167

Пленка уже вставлена! Ты просто нажми.

00:17:21,326 --> 00:17:22,669

Да, да, вот так. Отлично.

00:17:22,733 --> 00:17:26,730

Девочка, будь со мной потанцуй со мной

Пара-пара-пам

00:17:27,017 --> 00:17:30,693

Так ты слушаешь исландскую

группу «Бабба»? Я тоже её люблю.

00:17:30,853 --> 00:17:32,867

А я думал, что я один такой!

00:17:33,027 --> 00:17:34,529

Мужикотавры смеются надо мной,

00:17:34,594 --> 00:17:37,598

ведь я знаю всю песню

«Девчонка диско» наизусть.

00:17:37,663 --> 00:17:38,622

Я тоже.

00:17:38,685 --> 00:17:40,252

Девочка

00:17:40,507 --> 00:17:42,298

Будь со мной

00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,599

Потанцуй со мной

00:17:48,404 --> 00:17:51,632

Кто бы мог подумать?!

Наконец-то, я нашел такого же, как я.

00:17:52,048 --> 00:17:53,103

Ах да!

00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:56,300

Я же пришел сюда, чтобы тебя убить

и стать мужиком.

00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:57,866

Я принимаю судьбу.

00:17:58,090 --> 00:17:59,752

Нет! Правда?

00:17:59,848 --> 00:18:01,031

Всё к лучшему.

00:18:06,466 --> 00:18:07,489

Я отказываюсь!

00:18:07,585 --> 00:18:11,005

Но ты знаешь цена мужества –

голова мульти-медведя!

00:18:11,453 --> 00:18:15,065

Послушай меня, Вождерор.

И вы, Тестостерор, Гипофизор и...

00:18:15,257 --> 00:18:17,271

я забыл, как тебя зовут, бородатый.

00:18:17,334 --> 00:18:18,293

Бородатый.

00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:21,235

Вы говорите, чтобы быть мужиком

нужно выполнять задания,

00:18:21,299 --> 00:18:23,025

и постоянно злиться,

00:18:23,441 --> 00:18:25,582

но мне начинает казаться,

что всё это чушь.

00:18:27,245 --> 00:18:28,843

Да, вы не ослышались, чушь!

00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:31,592

У меня нет бицепсев

и волосы не растут на груди,

00:18:31,657 --> 00:18:35,109

а когда по радио передают

девчачие песни, я не переключаю,

00:18:35,268 --> 00:18:37,091

потому что в десятку лучших

00:18:37,155 --> 00:18:39,776

плохие песни не попадают – они классные!

00:18:39,936 --> 00:18:41,950

Разрушитель! Что ты хочешь сказать?

00:18:42,014 --> 00:18:44,379

Я говорю, что мульти-медведь –

хороший парень!

00:18:44,444 --> 00:18:46,553

А вы – придурки, что хотите

отрубить ему голову!

00:18:49,974 --> 00:18:53,363

Убей мульти-медведя,

или не станешь мужиком!

00:18:54,257 --> 00:18:55,696

Ну, значит, не стану мужиком.

00:18:57,263 --> 00:18:58,254

Слабак!

00:19:00,683 --> 00:19:01,962

Позор!

00:19:02,378 --> 00:19:05,319

Парни! Кто со мной?

Будем строить, а потом разрушать.

00:19:06,470 --> 00:19:10,913

Мужик! Мужик! Мужик! Мужик!

00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,389

Крутись! Крутись же!

00:19:17,626 --> 00:19:20,504

Ленивая Сьюзан!

Я знаю, он не особенно красив,

00:19:20,631 --> 00:19:22,326

но ведь ты всё здесь приводишь в порядок,

00:19:22,613 --> 00:19:23,892

и если ты это любишь, то

00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:26,610

тебе обязательно

понравится мой дядя Стэн!

00:19:26,706 --> 00:19:28,879

И вообще, женщины живут дольше мужчин,

00:19:28,943 --> 00:19:30,413

поэтому можно спокойно снизить планку.

00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:33,323

Ну, что, Ленивая Сьюзан,

что на это скажешь?

00:19:38,821 --> 00:19:41,379

Стой! Вот тебе мой номер!

00:19:41,698 --> 00:19:43,712

Может быть, как-нибудь позвонишь?

00:19:44,256 --> 00:19:46,654

-Правда?

-Ну, конечно!

00:19:47,069 --> 00:19:51,737

И ещё кусок пирога за счет заведения!

Только для тебя!

00:19:53,751 --> 00:19:56,883

Мы справились! Когда ты ей позвонишь?

Позвони сейчас!

00:19:56,947 --> 00:19:58,801

Нет телефона! Давай купим!

00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,975

Оплатим его кредиткой! Заведем кредитку.

00:20:01,039 --> 00:20:03,053

Мэйбл! Дай человеку поесть, ладно?

00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:09,542

Диппер! Это я, Мэйбл!

Я вижу тебя через стекло!

00:20:09,606 --> 00:20:13,443

Я здесь! Это мой голос!

Я говорю с тобой изнутри!

00:20:15,073 --> 00:20:16,607

-Ты, что, видел меня?

-Да.

00:20:16,672 --> 00:20:17,662

Что с тобой?

00:20:17,823 --> 00:20:19,420

-Не хочу это обсуждать.

-Хорошо.

00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:21,659

Я тусовался с парнями,

00:20:21,722 --> 00:20:23,417

-они полулюди-полубыки.

-Началось.

00:20:23,481 --> 00:20:26,454

Но потом, чтобы пройти испытание,

00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,756

они велели сделать одну нехорошую

вещь, и я отказался.

00:20:28,947 --> 00:20:31,057

Поступил как настоящий мужик, молодец.

00:20:31,537 --> 00:20:33,199

-А?

-Ты поступил правильно,

00:20:33,263 --> 00:20:34,477

хотя все были против!

00:20:34,669 --> 00:20:37,003

Это мужской поступок, по-моему.

00:20:38,058 --> 00:20:41,031

Погоди! Это что обман зрения?

00:20:41,319 --> 00:20:42,725

У тебя волос на груди!

00:20:44,164 --> 00:20:45,314

Точно! Один вырос!

00:20:45,379 --> 00:20:48,287

Потрясающе. Это волос!

00:20:48,383 --> 00:20:50,973

Вот тебе, тестер силы!

Вот тебе, Гипофизор!

00:20:51,101 --> 00:20:53,946

-Гипофизор?

-У меня на груди растут волосы!

00:20:55,449 --> 00:20:57,175

В памятный альбомчик!

00:20:58,965 --> 00:21:00,819

Ничего, сынок! Если пошел в меня,

00:21:00,883 --> 00:21:02,194

у тебя их будет много.

00:21:02,993 --> 00:21:04,624

О, какой кошмар!

00:21:08,172 --> 00:21:09,578

Нет серьёзно, это отвратительно.

00:21:11,017 --> 00:21:12,200

Да что ж такое!

00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:15,557

Сообщение номер 36.

00:21:15,812 --> 00:21:19,648

Привет, красавчик! Это я,

Ленивая Сьюзан, звоню сказать «привет».

00:21:19,808 --> 00:21:23,900

Привет! А еще тебе хотят

сказать «привет» мои кошки.

00:21:23,964 --> 00:21:25,850

Скажи «привет», Дональд.

00:21:25,946 --> 00:21:28,344

А теперь Сиани, скажи «привет».

00:21:28,408 --> 00:21:30,933

Мистер Царапка, твоя очередь.

00:21:30,997 --> 00:21:32,691

Мистер Царапка!

00:21:32,755 --> 00:21:35,345

Ладно. Перезвони мне.

00:21:35,441 --> 00:21:36,783

Как от этого избавиться?!